Finding the True Heart
by Amberle-chan
Summary: Kaoru and Aoshi fall in love, but Kenshin's reappearance will test their hearts. Who will Kaoru choose? Present day story told from Kaoru's POV. Kenshin Kaoru Aoshi Triangle fic. AU. This story is finally complete! Please read and review!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Kenshin and Company belong to Watsuki-san and Company. I'm just letting my imagination run away with their characters.  
  
Summary: Kaoru begins to move on with her life six years after Kenshin's death. Love may find her again, but only if she can forget the past. From Kaoru's POV.  
  
Author's Notes: Most of this story takes place during the present time. Please be constructive with your reviews. Any flames will be used to keep my hair the brilliant red color that it is.  
  
This story is dedicated to Thomas. His memory will never be far from my heart.  
  
Finding the True Heart  
  
By Amberle-chan  
  
Chapter 1: A Past Life  
  
Kenshin Himura and I grew up together. I was only six years old when he and his family moved into the apartment across the hallway. Kenshin was seven and the second oldest of five children. Kenshin was hard to miss in the neighborhood, as was his mother. Both had fire-engine red hair, which stood out everywhere they went. I'll always remember thinking that Kenshin's violet eyes were the most beautiful I'd ever seen.  
  
Kenshin and his sisters and brothers went to the same grammar school as I did, because it was only one block away from the house. I liked him from the first day I met him. He didn't make fun of me like the other boys in school did.  
  
It was the most natural thing in the world when his family and mine became best friends. I, my younger sister and brother, Misao and Yahiko, and the other Himura children, Tae and Sae (twin girls), and Yutaro (Kenshin's younger brother) spent our winter days running back and forth between the apartments while our parents would sit and talk over their coffee. Kenshin's older brother, Sanosuke, rarely joined in the fun because he was a teenager and such childishness was beneath him. We spent our spring and summer days going to the park and to the beach. Both sets of parents watched over us as if we were their own. I've lost count of the times Mrs. Himura hugged me when I was sick or bothered by something. We all happily played with each other for years as we grew up, keeping each other constant company wherever we went. Eventually, we paired off together as time went on, based on mutual interests. Yahiko and Yutaro, the two youngest of us, were always running around the neighborhood, playing baseball or football, and generally causing trouble, as two young boys should. Misao and Tae and Sae, who were all the same age, were always walking in the park, giggling over something, or going to the mall where they could check out the latest fashions. They also went to art classes together. Kenshin and I, well, we had our music.  
  
Kenshin had already been taking piano lessons before he and his family moved into our apartment building. By the time he was 13, it was obvious that he was a prodigy. As for me, after hearing me sing in a school play when I was ten, the music teacher suggested to my parents that I should have voice lessons. Kenshin and I would practice together, he playing the piano while I would sing.  
  
When he was fourteen, Kenshin was accepted to the best music high school in the city. I determinedly followed him a year later, getting in by the skin of my teeth, because although he was a brilliant pianist, my own talent would never be in the same class as his. But Kenshin never seemed to care about that. He kept on playing for me while I sang.  
  
I can still see him, halfway through his sophomore year, knocking on our door (something he hadn't done in years) and asking to speak to my father.  
  
"Why are you knocking, Kenshin?" I asked. "You don't have to knock, you know that!"  
  
"Kaoru, can I speak to your father, please?" he said. I also remember that he seemed nervous.  
  
"Dad! Kenshin wants to talk to you!" I called into the livingroom. My father appeared a moment later, his ever-present pipe in his hand. My father was a handsome man. He had black hair and blue eyes, just like I did.  
  
"What is it, Kenshin?" my father asked.  
  
"I...I ...was wondering, if I...could...please... take Kaoru to the...dance next Saturday?" Kenshin asked, rather nervously. He was also blushing, so much so that his face was as red as his hair.  
  
My father's eyebrows shot up into his hair. I think he was surprised but pleased by Kenshin's politeness. "Well, that's fine with me, Kenshin, if Kaoru's ok with it."  
  
I could hardly breathe while I smiled and nodded at him. "Of course, I want to go with you, Kenshin!" I was gushing, but I didn't care at the time. I knew that the dance was coming up, and there was no else in school I could imagine going with.  
  
"I just have one condition, Kenshin," my father said, pointing his pipe at Kenshin. "You have to cut your hair." My father was always teasing Kenshin about his hair, about both the color and the length. Kenshin had begun growing his hair long when he started high school and now he always wore it tied up in a pony-tail just at the nape of his neck.  
  
"Oh, no, you don't, Dad!" I protested. "You leave Kenshin's hair alone! I like it just the way it is!"  
  
From then on, Kenshin and I were truly inseparable and it wasn't long before we realized how much we loved each other. We shared so many dreams together while we were in high school. He was going to be the greatest pianist in the world and I would sing every song he ever wrote. He even gave me a ring on my sixteenth birthday; he called it "a promise" ring. It was his promise that we would always be together. I dreamed of the day when he would eventually place an engagement ring, and then a wedding ring, on my finger. But after many discussions between the two of us, and, of course, our parents, we knew we would have to wait until after we finished college to make that dream come true.  
  
Then, in the first month of my senior year, my parents were killed in a car accident. I can still remember how much I clung to Kenshin during those very dark days of my parent's funeral rites. He never left my side.  
  
I was seventeen, Misao was fifteen, and Yahiko was thirteen when my parents died. We were still minors, so we had to go live with my aunt and uncle, who lived almost 1,000 miles away. Mr. and Mrs. Himura suggested that I stay and live with them so I could finish out my senior year of high school and not be separated from Kenshin. But my aunt was a stern and proper woman, and she did not think that it was right for Kenshin and I to live in the same house together, even if his parents were there to chaperone. In less than two weeks time, my heart was broken a second time.  
  
Kenshin and I talked on the phone every day, promising that we would see each other soon. Kenshin became immersed in his music studies at the university and I became very busy trying to adjust to a new life, new high school, and a new place to live. My senior year in that high school far away from home was a strange, lonely one. I didn't go out of my way to make friends and Kenshin couldn't be there often enough to fill the void. I also had to give up taking voice lessons because my aunt believed such things were frivolous and a complete waste of money. I joined the local chorale group so I wouldn't have to give up singing completely.  
  
Kenshin was very determined for us to be together, however, and he came to visit me every vacation and holiday. When he couldn't afford the plane fare, he drove. I wanted to reciprocate, but my aunt would not allow it. When I finally graduated high school, I joined Kenshin at the university, finally escaping my aunt's oppressiveness.  
  
It soon became obvious, though, that I simply did not have a good enough singing voice to make a career with it, so I went with my second love, writing, and studied journalism. Kenshin still insisted that I sing for him when he practiced. "No other voice will do, Kaoru," he told me one evening, as his hands gently filled the room with beautiful music. "Yours is the only voice that fills my heart."  
  
We talked several more times about getting married while we were together at the university, because there would be no one to stop us, but always we decided to wait, thinking it would probably be the wisest choice. Late in his senior year, Kenshin received a scholarship to study classical piano abroad for a year. The time we logged on instant messenger service was tremendous, telling each other of what we were doing every bit of the day, while I finished my studies. It was only a year, I kept telling myself and then we would finally be together. We planned our wedding day for only two weeks after my graduation.  
  
Then, when he was returning home from Europe, Kenshin's plane crashed... . 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A Still Life  
  
I don't think I realized it then, but I think my heart also died on the day Kenshin died. It's six years later now, and I have not let any other man in my life. I still wear his ring; it has become a part of my hand, a piece of my life I will also cherish with joy and sadness.  
  
I lead a lonely life. I have a few very good friends, who have "adopted" me as family. My brother and sister have moved on with their own lives. Misao is married and has a little girl of her own. Yahiko joined the Coast Guard and is saving other people's lives. Their own lives are too busy to keep in touch with me that much. I have become a fairly well-known journalist in my own right. I spend my days writing about other people's lives and then every Friday night I go to my favorite restaurant with a few of my friends. We laugh a lot together. Friday evening is my favorite part of the week. It's the only night of the week that I'm never alone. What's equally funny is that there are times I like being alone, when I can be safe and warm in my apartment by myself, safe from the outside world, lost in memories and dreams that will never be.  
  
Then, just last week, I met Aoshi Shinomori. He's the new Editor-in-Chief of the magazine I write for.  
  
He's very tall, much taller than Kenshin ever was (poor Kenshin, he was always lamenting his lack of height). His blue eyes are very expressive, and seem to see into the soul of every one he meets, weighing what he finds there. He's also very quiet and reserved. Every movement he makes seems to be planned in advance and well thought out.  
  
We've met a couple of times, to discuss my work on the magazine. He's told me that he likes my articles and the way that I write, but he also has some ideas of his own and what direction he would like the magazine to take. I don't disagree with any of his ideas.  
  
Two weeks have passed since then, and I find myself watching him, waiting for him to arrive in the morning, waiting for his quiet "Good morning, Kaoru-san."  
  
Sometimes, when I look in his eyes, I think I can see myself in them. I think Aoshi Shinomori is just as lonely as I am... .  
  
Author's Note: I know this is short, but I wanted to keep it that way. Keep the reviews coming! 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: All Hail and Praise to My Beta Reader, Eriesalia! Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! Go read her wonderful fan fics at: .  
  
More notes at the end of this chapter.  
  
Chapter 3: A Changing Life  
  
It was a clear Friday night around 7 pm when I reached Daishi's, only to find that the restaurant was crowded. I didn't really find that too surprising, however. It'd been first time in weeks that the temperature had climbed above 50 degrees, so people who had had the winter blues for the last few weeks were out to enjoy themselves.  
  
Suddenly, Rikyu, my favorite waiter in the whole world, was at my side as I stood uncertainly near the bar, trying to see if my friends had arrived ahead of me and had gotten a table.  
  
"They're not here yet, Miss Kamiya, but I managed to save you a table," he said, as he led me to a table for four people, three menus in his hand. Barely a minute later, a full carafe of white wine was sitting on the table, along with three wine glasses. Being a regular at Daishi's had its perks.  
  
Five minutes passed, then ten, and then fifteen. I was starting to get annoyed. Joruri and Ayame were never this late. I was also worried that I would be asked to move to a smaller table. Rikyu may have been very good at getting me a table for three people, but his boss would not be happy if it turned out that I was the only person eating, especially when the restaurant was so crowded. I began to rummage through my bag for my cell phone (it's always at the bottom of the bag, stupid thing), intending to call and find out where they were.  
  
"Good evening, Kaoru," suddenly a deep voice said. I looked up to find a pair of blue eyes studying me intently. It was Aoshi. He was dressed in a plain black leather motorcycle jacket, a navy sweater, and black jeans. He looked like a man who could be ready to move at a moment's notice, which was a contradiction to his usual reserved demeanor. "Does he really plan out every move he makes?" I thought to myself. "Or is it because he's so quiet that I see him that way?" I liked what he was wearing; these clothes suited him so much better than the dark suits he usually wore to work. He took my breath away.  
  
"Hi, Aoshi," I managed to say calmly, which was a feat in itself, because he had half startled me. His mere presence was also disconcerting; I was so taken with him. "I didn't know you came here."  
  
"It's my first time," he replied. "Is it always so crowded?"  
  
I looked around the room. It seemed to be overflowing with humanity. "Not usually," I answered. "Are you supposed to be meeting someone?"  
  
"Not really," he said, "but I've been hearing about this place ever since I moved into the neighborhood, and I've been wanting to sample the food." He paused and looked around the room himself. "It seems I may have picked the wrong night."  
  
I don't know what came over me, but it seemed to be the most natural thing to do in the world. I had never been so forward with a man, not even Kenshin. I invited him to join me.  
  
We talked quietly about work for several minutes. Suddenly Ayame and Joruri were standing behind Aoshi's chair, both of their faces flushed.  
  
"I am so sorry, Kaoru!" Joruri exclaimed. "I had to finish marking up some tests, and then I couldn't find parking. I think everyone in the city must be out tonight!"  
  
As she finished talking, Aoshi stood up from his chair. "Ooops," Joruri said. "I didn't even see you there. I'm really off kilter tonight. Who are you?"  
  
"Joruri, Ayame, this is Aoshi Shinomori," I introduced them. "Aoshi, these are my friends Joruri Ebisawa and Ayame Gensai."  
  
"Hi!" Joruri said, grabbing his hand and shaking it vigorously. "Nice to meet ya!" She sat in the chair next to mine. Joruri was not subtle about anything; she dove into everything feet first, but without her constant conjoling and coaxing me to enjoy life, I think I may have become a recluse.  
  
"You're Kaoru's new boss, aren't you?" Ayame asked quietly as she seated herself in the other chair. Ayame, although she was far from shy, had a far calmer demeanor than Joruri did. Ayame was my best friend; I've known her since my senior year in high school. I would have been totally lost without her when Kenshin died.  
  
"Yes, I am," Aoshi answered, as he sat down again. "I hope you don't mind if I join you this evening?"  
  
"Of course not. The more, the merrier, right, Kaoru?" Joruri said. As I stated before, Joruri was never subtle. I had already told the both of them of my growing attraction for Aoshi. I gave her a little kick in the leg, hoping that she would take the hint about not saying too much.  
  
I think she took the hint, and Joruri being Joruri, managed to actually Aoshi draw out a little. Sometimes I wish I knew where she acquired that talent. She can talk to anyone in the world and get them to talk back. I guess it's a very useful skill to have when one works as a kindergartner teacher.  
  
Joruri talked about the kids she taught, and as always she had an amusing story about her little ones. Aoshi actually laughed, something I had never heard him do at work.  
  
"Children are great," Aoshi said. "Even under the worst of circumstances, they can still find something to laugh about."  
  
"Worst circumstances?" I asked.  
  
"My first job as a photojournalist was in Bosnia*, just after the war," Aoshi explained. "The pictures we all took for the papers and magazines never did it justice. The place was unbelievable, the burnt-out and bombed buildings, the mass graves. But the children never seemed to lose their smiles, despite the absolute horror around them. Perhaps I'll bring some of the pictures into the office one day."  
  
I could see him taking those pictures, greeting those poor children with his gentle ways and kind smile. I had almost forgotten that he had started out as a photojournalist. I couldn't help wondering about the terrible horrors he must have seen in all those war-torn countries. Was that another reason he was so quiet, because that kind of pain could not be so easily shared?  
  
We left the restaurant a little less than two hours later. Aoshi grabbed a bike helmet from the top of the coat rack that stood near the restaurant door. Parked just outside Daishi's was a fully-equipped Harley Davidson. Joruri and Ayame wished us good night, leaving us alone.  
  
"I didn't know you rode a bike," I said. I was very surprised by this; I had half expected him to be very carefully driving a sedate Cadillac or Mercedes Benz.  
  
"Best way to get around," he replied. "Do you want a ride home, Kaoru? I have an extra helmet." He reached into a side compartment and pulled out another helmet.  
  
I hesitated. "I've never ridden one before," I said, then paused, "but there's a first time for everything, right?"  
  
He smiled, handed me the helmet, and climbed on. I put the helmet on and clambered on behind him as I gave him the directions to my apartment house. "Hold on," he told me as we sped off.  
  
I wrapped my arms around his lean waist. I was so tempted to lean into his back, wondering what it would feel like to have my body closer to his, but I held myself in check. I had a feeling that I would need to move slowly if I wanted to get his attention, but I could have been wrong about that, given that he had surprised me a couple of times in the past few hours. "But why take the chance?" I thought to myself. In truth, I was too scared to do it.  
  
He dropped me off in front of my building a few minutes later, wishing me a good night with a gentle smile.  
  
I couldn't wait until Monday when I would see him again. I knew I would I spend the weekend fantasizing about one Aoshi Shinomori... .  
  
*Author's Note: For those too young to remember, there was a war in Bosnia (a country in Eastern Europe) almost 10 years ago. Although Aoshi is Kaoru's supervisor in this part of the fic, he'll go back to being a photojournalist later on, so I needed to establish some of his background here. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Kenshin and Company belong to Watsuki-san and Company. I'm just letting my imagination run away with their characters.  
  
Chapter 4: Life Begins  
  
Aoshi joined us for the next few Friday nights at Daishi's. Even Rikyu began to treat him like he was a regular customer. He would always take me home afterwards. Kami-sama, it was so hard not to wrap myself around him when we were riding on that motorcyle together.  
  
It was also becoming harder at work to hide my ever-growing attraction to him. I tried to find any excuse I could just so I could walk into his office and talk with him. I also found it difficult at times to discern what he was thinking behind those blue eyes; he was so hard to read at times. I couldn't tell what he felt about me, and I also couldn't tell if he was picking up my feelings for him. It was a bit frustrating.  
  
A month after he joined us the first time at Daishi's, Joruri and Ayame skipped out on us within five minutes of each other, something they had never done before in the three or four years we had being going out on Friday nights. I guess I should have seen it coming... .  
  
My cell phone rang just as Aoshi and I were being seated at the table. I answered it after the fourth ring.  
  
"Hey, Joruri, what's up? Where are you?" I asked. There was an excited voice at the other end, telling me that she had a date that night, something she had forgotten to tell me just the day before. "Well, why don't you bring him here?" I said, smiling at Aoshi, who shrugged his shoulders noncommitally. I was silent for a minute as she explained that they had made other plans. "Ok. I'll give you a call tomorrow." The cell phone was thrown back in my bag.  
  
"You know, if you put it in the pocket that it belongs in, you'd find it faster," Aoshi said sarcastically, a small smile on his lips.  
  
I rolled my eyes at him. "What and be neat?" I replied. "You know my motto." Aoshi chuckled. He was familiar with my penchant for being sloppy. My desk at work was a mess, and tacked to the bulletin board above it was a sign that read: "Neatness is a sure sign of a sick mind."  
  
Ayame arrived a few minutes later. "I tried to get you on the cell, but it was busy," she said.  
  
"Joruri's not coming. She has a date, believe it or not," I told her.  
  
"And I'm not staying, either. I only came over to tell you why. One of the other nurses called in sick. I have to work a double-shift tonight," Ayame explained. "I'm sorry. Can I call you tomorrow? See you, Aoshi!" She flipped us a goodbye wave and was out the restaurant door before either of us could reply.  
  
"Well, it looks like its just the two of us," I said. "I hope you don't mind."  
  
Suddenly, I found his blue eyes looking deeply into mine. "I could never mind that, Kaoru," he replied, his voice soft. I smiled shyly back at him and desperately tried to control the blush that threatened to creep into my face. I grabbed my wine glass, trying to hide in its contents for a moment, attempting to regain my composure.  
  
"So, what did you think of that article Fujita wrote?" I asked, after I put the wine glass down. Aoshi's eyes were still studying me intently. Kenshin used to look at me the same way. I shifted nervously in my chair, pushing my hair back behind my ears.  
  
Aoshi took a sip from his own wine glass. I think he sensed my discomfiture, but it seemed he was determined to be relentless this night. "It was fine," he replied. "Kaoru, why don't we talk about something else other than work tonight? Ok?"  
  
"Um...ok."  
  
* * *  
  
Aoshi did not take me home right after dinner as usual. It was a warm, wonderful spring evening; the sky was clear, stars twinkling in the dark blanket of the sky above us. A sickle moon was slowly rising to its apex.  
  
"Will you walk with me, Kaoru?" Aoshi asked as we stepped outside of the restaurant.  
  
We walked several blocks together in silence, passing open-air cafes and restaurants filled with people. I sensed that Aoshi did not wish to talk, that he just wanted some companionship. I was glad that it was my companionship he sought.  
  
The streets were crowded, but I hardly noticed them. I was completely focused on the man walking beside me. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a light blue denim shirt; the shirt really brought out the color of his eyes. I couldn't help noticing that despite his much longer legs, he had instantly adjusted his stride to match my shorter ones. It was just one more little thing that made me like him, just like when he stood up every time a woman came into a room. The list I had in my head about what I liked about him kept getting longer and longer.  
  
In the middle of a block filled with bars, nightclubs, and people, I suddenly halted and stared up at a sign hanging above a doorway. The sign read "Rising Star Karaoke." Below that was a picture of a microphone stand encircled by a star-shaped spotlight.  
  
Aoshi stopped beside me, his expression concerned and a bit confused. "Is anything wrong, Kaoru?"  
  
"I am so tempted to go in there," I said, smiling up at him.  
  
"You sing?" he asked, surprised.  
  
"Well, it's been awhile since I've sung on a stage," I explained. "Since college, in fact."  
  
He pulled on the door and held it open. "Well, then let's go."  
  
"Oh, I don't know, Aoshi... ."  
  
"I'd love to hear you sing, Kaoru," Aoshi replied, his eyes gently coaxing. "Please?"  
  
It was dark inside; the stage was centered in front of a semi-circle of tables and chairs. The spotlight on the stage was star-shaped. There were several microphones off to the side of the stage along with two or three stools. A waitress led us to a table for two just off to the right side of the stage and handed us the list of songs. She looked a bit disappointed when neither Aoshi or I ordered anything more dangerous than coffee and cranberry juice.  
  
I quickly read through the song list; there were several songs I knew that I could handle fairly well. Aoshi watched me intently as I flipped through the pages; he wasn't even paying attention to the woman who had just stepped onto the stage and started singing. A few minutes later, I finished reading the list and tossed it back onto the table.  
  
"So what song will you sing?" he asked.  
  
I grinned back at him wickedly. "Oh, it will be a surprise."  
  
He didn't reply, but only raised his eyebrows in speculation.  
  
As we waited for my name to be called, the patrons grew a bit rowdy. After hearing them jeer and heckle a couple of women off the stage, I started to re-think about my spontaneous inclination. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to do this anymore.  
  
"I'm not sure about this, Aoshi," I said. "Maybe we should go."  
  
"I want to hear you sing, Kaoru," he replied. "And if anyone dares to make fun of you, I'll make them regret it." His expression was solemn, almost grim. I laughed nervously in reply. I suddenly had the feeling that he was very serious.  
  
My name was called several minutes later, and I tried to hide my quivering as I climbed up onto the stage. I was very nervous; I had not sung on a stage in front of people since before Kenshin had died. The music started, and the lyrics came up on the screen. My voice was slightly unsteady as I sang the first words:  
  
"Please don't let this feeling end,"  
  
I suddenly thought of who I was singing for, and what I beginning to feel for this man; I began to put my whole heart into the song...  
  
"It's everything I am,"  
  
and my voice grew stronger...  
  
"Everything I want to be... ."*  
  
I wanted to be with him...,  
  
and I turned toward the table where Aoshi was seated; I drew upon his quiet strength and felt my nervousness disappear. I couldn't see him from the stage, but I could feel his eyes upon me, drinking in every nuance of the song. In the back of my mind, I was wondering if I was going too far. What would his reaction be?  
  
There was no jeers, no heckling, but a great deal of applause as I finished singing. As I rushed off the stage, high on the applause, Aoshi stood up, still applauding, and I actually hugged him. Surprised by my own boldness, I quickly let go, but I don't think he noticed.  
  
"That felt pretty good!" I exclaimed. "I haven't sung like that in a very long time!"  
  
"Why not?" Aoshi asked.  
  
"Oh...it's a long story," I replied. For some reason, I did not want to tell him about Kenshin. His eyes searched mine for a moment, but he did not press me. I was grateful for that.  
  
"I want to hear you sing again, Kaoru," he said quietly.  
  
I was a bit flustered. "Not tonight, ok?" I asked. "I'm a little too nervous to sing again tonight."  
  
He gently pressed my hand. "When your are ready then."  
  
We did not stay much longer at the karaoke bar after that. We walked back to where the motorcycle was parked. It was growing late, some of the cafes and restaurants had begun to empty out and the sidewalks were no longer crowded. I don't remember at which point during the walk Aoshi reached for my hand, gently taking it in his, but I do remember his eyes searching mine, asking permission. I smiled up at him in encouragement, and we continued to walk together hand-in-hand.  
  
We spoke no words to each other until we reached my apartment house. Aoshi walked me up to the door, and took both my hands in his own.  
  
"You sang beautifully tonight, Kaoru," he said, gazing down at me. I found myself wanting to stare into his eyes forever.  
  
"Thank you, Aoshi," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. I started to tremble, at a loss for any more words to say, as he lifted my chin and gently pressed his lips against mine. He did not linger long; I opened my eyes, searching his face, as he brushed back some of my hair.  
  
"I will see you on Monday," he murmured, stepping away from me. He climbed onto his motorcycle and rode away into the night as I stood there gazing after him, my fingers pressed against the lips he had just kissed so tenderly.  
  
*Author's Note: The song Kaoru sings is "Through the Eyes of Love." It was the theme song from the movie "Ice Castles," which was made in the late 1970s. It was originally recorded by Melissa Manchester. I decided not to add all of the lyrics because I felt it wasn't necessary for this chapter. You can find the all of the lyrics on the web at many song lyrics websites.  
  
I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story so far: eriesalia (my fabulous beta reader), XxSilentxDreamerxX, J.M., WhiteRabbit 5, Mae, Satu- Chan, Orchidaceae, and Goldmund. Please keep the reviews coming! s 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Life Flowers  
  
When I arrived at work the following Monday morning, there was a beautiful bouquet of red, long-stemmed rosebuds on my desk, a single white rose in full bloom centered in the middle. There was no note, but I easily guessed who they were from. Several of my fellow co-workers, who could not resist their journalistic instincts, instantly questioned the presence of flowers on my desk, something that they had never seen before.  
  
"There was no note," I replied each time the same question was asked. "I guess I've got a secret admirer somewhere."  
  
"That's got to be some admirer," Yumi commented. Her desk was directly across from mine. "The color of flowers have meaning, did you know that? Red is for love, but white is for passion. I suggest you find it out who it is quick, Kaoru, and hold on real tight when you do. Men like that are rare these days."  
  
I spent the morning trying to polish up some of the stories I was working on, but I kept getting distracted by thoughts of Aoshi. Could I be falling in love with him? I wasn't sure. The feelings I had shared with Kenshin had felt so different from what I was feeling now. I had always felt so comfortable with Kenshin; he had been as open with me as I had been with him. Aoshi was so quiet and reserved, and I wondered what had made him become that way. There was also something dark about Aoshi, not just in his looks, but in his personality. I think it was this "darkness" that made me so attracted to him; I found exciting and enticing.  
  
Aoshi appeared at my desk around noon. "Those are beautiful flowers, Kaoru," he said quietly. I couldn't help but notice that his blue intense gaze was not looking at the flowers but at me.  
  
"Yes, they are," I replied, trying very hard not to blush. I did not want to give anything away just yet. A news magazine office was the worst place in the world to keep a secret. "Can I talk to you later? I think I need some advice about this story."  
  
"Of course, Kaoru," he answered. "But it must be later on. I have meetings all afternoon." He nodded once and moved away. I was grateful that Yumi hadn't even noticed our exchange.  
  
I waited until everyone had left work for the day. It was nearing eight o'clock when I knocked on Aoshi's office door. His quiet voice told me to enter. As soon as I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me, he rose from his chair. I was once again struck again by how tall he was, but I didn't find it hard to gaze up into those deep blue irises again.  
  
"The flowers are beautiful, Aoshi," I said. "Thank you."  
  
He gently caressed my cheek with one long finger. "Not as beautiful as you, Kaoru."  
  
"Aoshi...," I murmured, lost in his eyes. He lowered his head down to mine and kissed me tenderly.  
  
I searched his eyes when he broke away from me, his hand still cupping my face. "I know we need to talk, Kaoru. Let's go find a quiet place to have dinner."  
  
***  
  
We walked for several blocks, the fingers of his right hand tangled with those of my left, before we discovered the quiet restaurant we were looking for. It was set far off the street, on the bottom floor of an old house. There was an open-air garden in the back where candlelight flickered among the trees and shrubs. The hostess led us to a table set for a two, beneath a lilac tree that was just beginning to bloom.  
  
We talked long into the evening, learning about each other, finally admitting the feelings that were growing between us. Aoshi was like me in some ways; his parents had died early, but he had been an only child without any family, so he spent some his childhood in an orphanage run by monks. I began to understand why he was contemplative. His life among the monks had been one of meditation and quiet discipline. He told me of one monk who had sparked his interest in photography, which then led to his interest in photojournalism. He had been a photojournalist at other news magazines before he moved into management and then joined our magazine.  
  
I told him many things about myself, about where I grew up and my parents. I told him about Misao and Yahiko and our childhood together. I told him stories about my first voice lesson and the first time I had ever sung on stage. I did not speak of Kenshin.  
  
The next several weeks were a whirlwind. I began to feel like some fairytale princess. If Aoshi was trying to sweep me off my feet, he was doing a very good job of it. Yumi had been right; he was from another age, something rare and wonderful in this age of cyncism: a gentleman. He was kind and considerate, and never insisted that we go any further than I was willing to go. He lavished me with attention and I reveled in it. We went everywhere together, but my favorite place to go was the local park. Spring had finally entered into full bloom, and one of the park paths was lined with cherry blossom trees. We would sit under the trees, hold each other, and just be together. I felt so sad when those beautiful pink petals began to fall.  
  
Keeping our growing relationship a secret from our fellow employees was difficult but we managed, although after Aoshi sent me a flowers a third week in a row, I began to insist that if had to send me flowers that he should send them to my apartment. (He actually brought them himself the following week.) Yumi and the others weren't dolts and were capable of picking up on even the subtlest of nuances. We had to be very careful. Aoshi was my supevisor after all, and the company would certainly not be happy with either of us if they ever found out.  
  
Three months passed, and I knew had fallen in love with him. His kindness and gentleness had finally opened my heart to the possibility of loving someone other than Kenshin.  
  
~ * ~* ~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *~ *  
  
One late afternoon, after everyone else had left work for the day, Aoshi called me into his office.  
  
I'd had never seen him so excited. His eyes were a lighter shade of blue and absolutely shining. There were no other obvious signs that he was very enthusiastic about something, but I could sense it. He closed the door behind me and sat down. "Kaoru, how would you like to go on a working vacation...with me?"  
  
My eyes widened in surprise. "A working vacation?"  
  
He pointed to a file on his desk. "There's a story that the boys upstairs want to see done." he explained. "They think it will bring in more readers, and I agree with them. Remember when I said that we needed to bring in more exciting stories? Different stories than we usually do?"  
  
"Yes," I replied, pushing some stray hair behind my ears. I was already intrigued and he hadn't even told me what the story would be yet.  
  
He tapped the file with one longer, slender finger. "This is it."  
  
I pulled the file toward me and began to scan it. "Read it, later, Kaoru," Aoshi said. "I'll give you the synopsis.  
  
"About five years ago, there were one or two murders in Tokyo, assassinations really," he explained. "Both people were high-level government officials. There were a few others the next year and the year after that. All of those killed worked for the government. Then about two years ago, the number of assassinations began to grow. The police have never been able to find out who has been doing the killing, because these assassinations are different. They're not being done with a gun; someone is killing these people with a sword."  
  
"A sword...?"  
  
"An old-fashioned Japanese katana. Someone has obviously hired someone to assassinate these people so they can take over the government. That's our story."  
  
"But why haven't I heard about this before?" I questioned, then I paused for a moment, thinking. "The government has been keeping it quiet...they don't want people to panic. How did you find out about it, though?"  
  
"One of my old contacts from my photojournalist days," Aoshi replied. "He'll probably get in a lot of trouble for letting me know about this, but he also feels that things have gone too far, that someone has to force the government to admit what's going on.  
  
"So what do you say, Kaoru? Want to do this story with me? It took some convincing for the old men upstairs to let me do the story, but I also told them that I would only do it with you."  
  
"When do we leave?" I answered with a smile.  
  
"Day after tomorrow. Can you be packed and ready by then?"  
  
I picked up the file from his desk. "I should read this tonight, then," I replied.  
  
Aoshi stood up, came around his desk, and kissed me lightly. "I have something to finish up, Kaoru, but I'll be over later. I'll bring dinner."  
  
I kissed him back and left.  
  
***  
  
I went home right away and curled up in my favorite recliner, reading the file by the light of a single lamp. There had been a total of 37 murders in the five years since they had begun, but 17 had taken place in the last eight months alone. Someone was picking up the pace of their agenda. Each person had been pierced through with a sword; no other evidence had been found. Whoever the assassin was, he was very thorough; nothing had been left behind but the victims dying in their own blood.  
  
I finished reading the file by the time Aoshi arrived more than hour later, Chinese take-out in one hand and a single pink rose in the other. I was pensive during dinner, however; thinking about the report I had just read. If Aoshi and I could ferret out the information we needed in Tokyo, the story would be a very important one, perhaps the most important one I would ever write. Who was this assassin? Why had he killed these particular people? Why was the government so afraid of what was going on that they had never made the killings public knowledge? I knew myself that too many murders had been committed and that the public had a right to know the truth. Aoshi was right, this was a story that needed to written.  
  
Aoshi watched me silently as I picked at my food, my thoughts far away. After several minutes, he reached out and gently stopped the movement of my circling hand. I stared back at him, half startled.  
  
"I'm the quiet one, Kaoru," he said, his eyes filled with some concern. "What is it?"  
  
I squeezed his hand in reply and smiled reassuringly. "I'm just thinking about the story. I thought the name the police gave the assassin was interesting. It's a word I haven't heard since history class in high school."  
  
"Battousai." 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Watsuki and Co. owns Kenshin and Co. I'm just letting my imagination run away with their characters.  
  
Chapter 6: Pursuit of Life  
  
We arrived in Tokyo early Friday morning, and after checking into our hotel rooms, Aoshi and I went to visit a police detective that he had known when he worked as a photojournalist. The detective, a man named Cho, was not pleased to see Aoshi, but he grudgingly admitted that he would to speak to us. Aoshi's reaction to Cho was just as cold. His blue eyes became icy and hard as he barely acknowledged Cho's terse greeting. I was used to the calm coolness of Aoshi's eyes, but I had never seen such an expression of bitterness in them before. There were some sort of animosity between the two of them. I could sense that Aoshi did not like Detective Cho, perhaps even hated him, but there had to be some respect for the detective as well or Aoshi would not have insisted that we come here this morning.  
  
Cho took us into his office where I sat down in a chair in front of his desk while Aoshi closed the door and leaned back against it, his hands in the pockets of his dark navy slacks. He lifted his chin toward me when I looked back at him, his eyes dark and hidden by his black bangs. I would be writing this story; he would follow where I led.  
  
"We're here to talk to you about several murders," I said as Cho sat down in a chair opposite mine. I did not want to dawdle around issues; being straight forward was the best route to take. The police had never been exactly fond of journalists, and were always reluctant to talk about homicides that had never been solved. I wanted to let this Detective Cho know that I was serious in my pursuit of gaining what information I could. "All of those killed were middle level to high level government officials."  
  
"Homicides are not that unusual, Miss Kamiya," Cho replied, leaning back lazily in his chair, "even of bureaucrats."  
  
"Homicides that are committed with a sword are very unusual, Detective Cho," I commented dryly.  
  
Cho sat up straight, his eyes narrowed and staring at Aoshi. "Shinomori," he growled. Aoshi gazed back cooly, no expression on his face. I knew that Aoshi woud not react at all to anything Cho did or said. He was there to listen and hear, nothing more.  
  
"What can you tell us of 'Battousai', detective?" I asked, letting my voice harden. I was slightly annoyed that he had chosen to speak to Aoshi and ignore me. I had to let him know that I was in charge of this particular situation. "That's a very strange nickname to give a killer, don't you think? But then again, it probably is appropriate for a person who kills with a sword."  
  
Cho glanced at Aoshi again and then shook his head, coming to the realization that Aoshi would not speak. He leaned back in his chair again and was silent for several moments, watching me, assessing the situation. "To be honest, Miss Kamiya," he said, "you probably know just about as much of Battousai as we do, although I'd be interested to know how you found about him." He opened one of his desk doors, pulled out a file, and threw it on his desk. He looked up at Aoshi once more; Aoshi only lifted one eyebrow in reply. "But you'd never tell me anyway, would you?" Cho grimaced in reply and turned to face me directly, finally giving me his full attention.  
  
"The truth of the matter is that the bureaucrats and politicians have been running around frightened out of what little wits they have in the last six months. The department now has an agent covering every high-level official and even they have started to hire their own bodyguards. But this guy, this Battousai, always gets through any protection. Nine of the last 17 murders have been policemen or bodyguards."  
  
He passed me the file and I flipped through it. It did not contain much more than the file Aoshi had shown me. There were, however, some autopsy reports, including pictures of bodies that had been viciously slashed and butchered. I handed the file to Aoshi.  
  
"Do you know or have any idea of who Battousai's next target will be?" I questioned.  
  
Cho harrumphed and glared at me. "Do you think I would really tell you that, Miss Kamiya, even if I did know?"  
  
I smiled wryly in reply. "Perhaps not, detective," I said, "but then again, what kind of journalist would I be if I didn't ask the question?" I paused for a moment, sitting straighter in the chair, locking my eyes onto his. "We are interested in Battousai's story," I stated, "but we are even more interested in why the government has decided to keep the public from knowing about these murders. What are they so afraid of? Is the government afraid that someone is trying for a coup de'tat?"  
  
"I don't know," Cho replied, pulling another file from his desk, "but I'm more than just a little frustrated about this affair. And that's the one reason I'm telling you this. No one in the government has cooperated with my investigation, and I've been told to keep my mouth shut but not to stop investigating until I find the guy. Whoever is pulling the strings is way up high, though, and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the whole thing quiet." He tapped the file in front of him. "This is a list of all of the family members of those who were murdered. My partner and I have spoken to every single one of them. They all refused to cooperate."  
  
"They may have refused to cooperate with the police, Detective Cho," I said, softening my voice into one of deep concern, "but they may be more than willing to talk to a female journalist who is only interested in letting everyone know about their heart-wrenching stories of the family tragedy."  
  
Cho blinked at me in surprise, and then chuckled deeply before tossing me the file. "You're good," he commented, "but you may have to even be better than that to get something out of them."  
  
"We'll see," I replied as I stood up. I had gotten something that I needed for the story and Cho knew that I would share what information I could with him later on. Even though there may have been some dislike between our two professions, we were both searching for the same thing. "Thanks for the help, detective."  
  
Aoshi turned and opened the door for me and I smiled up at him in triumph as I moved past him. Aoshi moved to follow me, but halted when Cho spoke up once more.  
  
"Make sure you watch out for your little 'concerned female journalist', Shinomori," I heard him say. "Whoever is ordering this whole thing kept quiet will not be happy when the story finally gets out, free speech or no free speech. Get me?"  
  
Aoshi nodded once in reply and closed the door behind him.  
  
***  
  
After Aoshi and I had a quick lunch, I began to do our research on the list of family members that Cho had provided. At first, I sat down in my hotel room, calling the first five names on the list. I introduced myself to each of them politely, telling them that I was a journalist who was doing some research on surviving family members of murder victims. Aoshi sat by my side, listening silently, watching my growing frustration as each person stated politely but emphatically, "No, I'm sorry. I'm not interested."  
  
"I'm definitely going about this wrong way," I said, blowing my bangs away from my eyes. I looked over at Aoshi; his eyes gazed back at me, never wavering. "Would my editor-in-chief mind if I went to speak to these people directly? It would probably help if if they could see how sincere I was about this."  
  
Aoshi stood up, turned around, and picked up the camera that was lying on the bed, and shrugged his shoulders into a long, black trench coat. "I'm just a photojournalist on this one, Kaoru," he said, turning back to me, "but I don't think your editor-in-chief would mind at all." He hefted the camera in his hand. "While you're doing that, I'll be out observing and taking photographs."  
  
I rose from my chair and approached him. "Observing?" I asked, staring up into his face. He bent down and plucked my own coat from off the bed and pulled it around me. "You were right to ask the question about who the next target would be, Kaoru," he replied, his hands on the lapels of my coat. "It gave me an idea. Cho said that he had people on every high-level official. My guess is that the one who the police suspect is Battousai's next target will have more than just one or two bodyguards. You know how much bureaucrats and politicians love to have their pictures taken."  
  
I smiled up at him and grabbed his coat lapels, pulling him down to me. "I knew you were the right photojournalist for this story," I said impishly, reaching up to kiss him.  
  
He pulled away from me only a few moments later, cupping one hand against my face; his blues eyes serious and concerned as they gazed down at me. "Please be careful, Kaoru," he murmured softly. I nodded against his hand in reply. He brushed a kiss across my forehead and left the room.  
  
***  
  
I spent the next two hours visiting three more people on the list, all of whom were very reluctant to talk about the murders of their loved ones. None of their home doors were actually slammed in my face, but I felt like they had been. The last two people I talked to, the elderly mother of one victim and the older brother of another, barely opened their doors at all. Both of them had watched me warily, fearful and terrified. Who in the government had frightened these people into not speaking about their loved ones?  
  
I drove over to the next address on the list and again found myself in a high-end, monied neighborhood. All of the houses I had visited in my search for information had been well-appointed, well-furnished, and well-manicured homes. None of the people I met were suffering from lack of money, even after losing the high-earning paychecks of their family members.  
  
I parked the car in the circular driveway, walked up to the door, and rang the bell. My hopes rose a little when the door was opened by a teenage girl dressed in a school uniform. According to the information on the list, this child's father had been murdered only three weeks ago. Perhaps she would be able to tell me something more about her father and what he did for the government.  
  
"Hey, I know you!" she cried, swinging the door open wider. "You're Kaoru Kamiya!"  
  
"Yes, I am," I replied, smiling broadly. "Is your mother here? I'd like to speak to her and to you."  
  
She shook her head sadly, and I felt my heart wrench in empathy as I saw tears starting to glisten in her brown eyes. "Mother died two years ago, and now father...,"  
  
"It's your father I want to talk to you about," I told her, keeping my voice soft and gentle. "What's your name?"  
  
"Suzume," she answered around a sniffle.  
  
"Suzume, can you tell me what happened to your father?" I asked. "I want to write a story about him."  
  
The girl shook her head vehemently, distrust suddenly blooming in her eyes. "No, I can't tell you. Grandfather says I can't tell anyone!" She began to close the door.  
  
"But...," I started to say, but she cut me off. "No! I can't tell you! Goodbye!" The door slammed closed.  
  
I gritted my teeth in frustration as I walked toward the car. All of the people I had spoken to were terrified. What the hell was the government doing?  
  
I pulled the car door open and reached for my cell phone. I pushed the speed dial button for Aoshi's phone. He answered in just one ring.  
  
"Hi, it's me," I said. "I'm not getting anywhere at all. How about you?"  
  
"I am still taking photographs," he replied quietly, "but none of them are very interesting yet."  
  
"I think I'll try one more person before giving in for today," I said. "I'm getting really irritated and you know how that makes me hungry."  
  
I could almost see his lips curving into a slight smile. "Tell me what the next address is. I'll meet you there and then we'll go to dinnner."  
  
"Right, here it is." I read off the address to him. "I'll see you in a few." I flipped the phone closed and tossed it onto the passenger seat as I climbed behind the wheel.  
  
It took only ten minutes for me to locate the street where the next person on the list lived. As I drew closer to the block, the cars in front of me suddenly halted despite the green light shining bright in the intersection; the person in the car behind me started pressing hard on their horn.  
  
I leaned out of my window and saw a police car blocking the intersection and another one parked in front of a big apartment house. There was thick, black smoke billowing out of the windows and I could see several people scrambling down the fire escape. Two other officers were running up the steps into the building. I didn't see a single fire engine. I checked the address on the list laying on the passenger seat. The person I needed to speak to lived in that building.  
  
I grabbed my press credentials and draped them around my neck and leapt out of the car. I ran toward the police officers in front of the burning house.  
  
"What happened?" I asked, showing them my credentials.  
  
"I don't know yet," one of the officers answered politely, taking my arm and gently pushing me back further into the street. "You really should stay back, miss."  
  
"Why aren't there fire engines here yet?" I demanded.  
  
The officer turned to answer me, but his reply was lost as the burning building in front of us exploded outward and the world shattered... .  
  
Last Author's Note: Ok, ok...you're all saying to yourselves: "This woman has watched too much TV!" But then again, if I hadn't watched "Rurouni Kenshin" would I be writing this story now? Hmmmm... . Anyway, Kenshin will be making his re-appearance soon, very soon! 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Saving a Life  
  
Pain. My whole body was in pain, but when I tried to move my head, the agony increased a hundredfold, all of it centered in my skull.  
  
"No, don't move yet," a gentle voice murmured from a great distance; it was a male voice, a familiar voice. I could hardly hear him through the throbbing in my brain, but this was a voice I had heard before. It comforted me.  
  
"Aoshi?" I tried to open my eyes, but my body was unresponsive and lethargic. What had happened?  
  
"You're going to be fine," the man said reassuringly. I felt his hands running lightly over me, examining me, checking the extent of my injuries. Gentle hands.  
  
My eyes finally slid open, but my vision was blurry and unfocused. I could not see who was there. The world tilted and spun, and I hastily shut my eyes against the dizziness. "What...happened?" I asked, the words stumbling off my tongue. I couldn't think. I tried to concentrate, attempting to grasp onto anything that made sense, but it was too difficult. My thoughts were sliding away from me into a deep, giant hole, and I felt myself following them.  
  
"You're going to be fine," the voice repeated. It sounded like the man had moved several feet away, but then a hand gently touched my face. "It is too dangerous here. There may be another explosion. I have to get you away from here."  
  
Lifted. I was suddenly being lifted, cradled in a strong man's arms, my head drooping against a muscled shoulder. "Aoshi?" I asked again, my voice a dry rasp.  
  
"You're safe now, Kaoru," the voice whispered, but I could hardly discern the words he was speaking as I felt myself slip over the edge of a deep, endless, black chasm... .  
  
~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ *~ *~ * ~ *  
  
My skull was still throbbing painfully when I finally woke up. I tried to raise myself off the cold floor I was lying on, but I instantly fell back down when a wave of dizziness hit me. I groaned out loud, instantly wishing that I had never moved at all.  
  
"You should not move," a voice spoke from dark shadows. "I don't think you have any broken bones, but you may have a concussion. You should try and stay awake."  
  
It was a male voice, but it did not belong to Aoshi. The timber was deep and the tone was commanding. It did not sound like the gentle voice that has spoken so soothingly to me before. I cowered away from it.  
  
"I will not hurt you," the man's voice spoke again. His tone grew softer, more reassuring. Was this the man who carried me? "You are safe here with me." His voice was comforting, once again familiar, but I could not place it, distracted by the stabbing pain in my head. Yet, something deep inside told me that I could trust him, as far as this was concerned. He would not hurt me.  
  
I looked around, trying to assess my surroundings, trying to locate the man whose voice came from the shadows. I think it was a warehouse, but it was very hard to tell. There were no lights on and only few a shafts of light cutting through the gloom from a skylight in the roof.  
  
"Where am I? Who are you?" I asked, putting a hand to the side of my head. There was a swelling lump there, and my fingers came away with dried blood.  
  
"We are only a couple of blocks away from the fire. It seemed best to take you somewhere away from the area," he explained, "in case there was another explosion."  
  
"Why are you helping me?"  
  
"It was the right thing to do."  
  
"Then why didn't you simply call an ambulance or the police?" I inquired, frustration showing in my voice, "or take me to a hospital?" Who was this man?  
  
"There would be...complications, if I did that," he answered quietly. "Do not worry, I have sent for someone who will help you."  
  
I kept gazing around me, trying to discern where the voice was coming from, but it was much too dark. I tried to stand up again, but abruptly crumpled to the floor once more. I was still too dizzy. The man hiding in the shadows was right; I probably had a concussion. I had to stay awake.  
  
"Complications?" I asked, realizing that the only way I would stay alert was a conversation with this man.  
  
"I will not explain." It was a simple statement, but there was an underlying danger in his tone. I sensed instantly that I should not ask anymore questions about these "complications."  
  
I was silent for several moments, trying to gather my scattered thoughts together. Aoshi's handsome face flashed through my mind. I wondered if he knew what had happened. If he did, he would be frantic to find me. I tried to speculate as to how long I had been unconscious. Aoshi was now more than likely searching every Tokyo hospital emergency room. I had to contact him.  
  
More silent minutes slid away, and I began to feel very drowsy. "Stay awake, Kaoru!" I demanded of myself. "Keep on talking!"  
  
"I want to thank you for saving me," I said, knowing that I should show some appreciation to this person, even if he had taken me to a very strange place.  
  
He did not reply immediately, and then with surprising gentleness, he said: "You are welcome."  
  
Suddenly I heard a soft knocking sound. It was coming from somewhere above me. I looked up and saw a walkway several feet above my right shoulder. A shape moved on the walkway, and then blinding, bright light abruptly flooded the room as he opened the door. It hurt my eyes, so I looked away. I heard him murmur some instructions to whomever was standing there. A moment later there was a sound of soft footfalls on the staircase as the door slammed closed. I never saw the man who saved my life.  
  
"I'm Megumi Takani," a woman's voice spoke. "I'm a doctor and I'll take care of you until the ambulance gets here." She had a small flashlight in her hand, but I could see that she had kind eyes. "You'll be just fine."  
  
I reached out my hand to her. She took it and squeezed it reassuringly. "Please," I said, as the room spun around me once more, "I have to call Aoshi...I have to speak to Aoshi...."  
  
"Don't worry, miss," she assured me. "I'll contact anyone who needs to be contacted once we reach the hospital."  
  
* * *  
  
Megumi Takani was true to her word. She examined me while we waited for the ambulance to arrive, insisting that I lay very still on the floor. She gave instructions to the paramedics during the ride to the hospital. Her presence was strong and reassuring. She stayed with me while the other doctors in the emergency room examined me, all of them finally agreeing that I did have a concussion. She called Aoshi as I waited to be taken to a hospital room. She even made sure that I was comfortable after I was brought to the room.  
  
I will never forget the expression on Aoshi's face as he strode into the room and swept me into his embrace, ignoring Dr. Takani's admonishment to be careful.  
  
"Kaoru," he whispered as he brushed kisses against my hair. His arms closed about me tightly; I wound my own arms about his waist, pressing my face into his chest. His heart was beating wildly. I pulled him even closer, losing myself in his strength and warmth. I did not want him to ever let go. I felt his muscles constrict when he spoke again: "I couldn't find you... ."  
  
"Someone took me away from there...," I managed to choke out. "Someone saved me...I don't know who it was... ."  
  
"It doesn't matter," he murmured, his voice a soft rasp, "just as long as you are safe, Kaoru." I pulled myself away from his chest and looked up. His blue eyes shone with anguish and concern. I reached out to touch his face; he pressed his lips against my hand.  
  
Dr. Takani cleared her throat delicately. Aoshi turned to her, one of his arms still about me. He reached out to shake her hand.  
  
"I'm Aoshi Shinomori, Doctor..."  
  
"Doctor Megumi Takani," she supplied. "I can assure you that Miss Kamiya will be fine as long as she is quiet and gets some rest, Mr. Shinomori. You can stay here only as long you are quiet yourself and don't excite her anymore."  
  
I laughed softly in reply. Aoshi looked down at me, a small ironic smile on his lips, his eyes brightening. "Don't worry, Doctor Takani, Aoshi knows how to be quiet," I told her.  
  
"Very well, then. I will check on you later, Miss Kamiya," she said as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.  
  
Aoshi gently laid me back against the pillows, grabbed the nearest chair, and moved it closer to the bed. He took my hand again and kissed it, his eyes never leaving my face. "Can you tell me what happened, Kaoru?" he asked softly.  
  
I told him everything, about the fire, the sudden explosion, waking up in the warehouse, the mysterious stranger who had helped me. "I wonder who he is..." I said around a yawn. The need to sleep was catching up with me.  
  
"Maybe I can find out tomorrow," Aoshi murmured softly, as he bent down to gently kiss me. "Go to sleep now, Kaoru. I'll be here." His hand tightened around mine as I let my eyes close in healing sleep.  
  
***  
  
Dr. Takani was there when I awoke the next morning, but Aoshi was no longer there. She told me that he had gone back to the hotel to get some rest and would return later with some of my own personal things. She had an orderly help me into a wheelchair, explaining that she wanted have some more x-rays taken of my head, just to check once more that I had no skull fractures. She also told me that a neurologist would also be stopping by in the afternoon to examine me.  
  
The neurologist arrived in my room just as I finished eating lunch. My eyes widened in shock as he turned away from the closing the door behind him. I had not seen that big, sloppy grin in years.  
  
"Sanosuke!" I cried as I reached up to hug him. It was Kenshin's older brother.  
  
Author's Note: I know who saved Kaoru... . ^_^x 


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Most of this chapter is WAFF, but I like writing WAFF, so I'm not going to make any excuses for it. Enjoy!  
  
Standard Disclaimers Apply: I want to own Kenshin and Co, but there's something called copyright law, so I can't. I'll just have to let my imagination borrow them for a little while.  
  
Chapter 8: Life's Loves  
  
Sanosuke and I had both a joyful and sad reunion. As he examined my x-rays and MRI scan, he told me about himself and Yutaro, Tae and Sae, and their parents. They had also moved on with their lives after Kenshin's death, although a large piece of their hearts still, and always would, bear some sorrowful pain. They, like me, would never stop mourning him in some way. We also spoke of Kenshin for a few minutes, laughing over shared, cherished memories. Sanosuke also mentioned his mother's deep and on-going sadness. She had changed over the years, growing quieter, more reflective, and withdrawn, but Sanosuke assured me that she would be happy to know that I was alive and well. I felt a stab of guilt that I had not kept in contact with the Himuras over the intervening years since Kenshin had died.  
  
Aoshi arrived just before Sanosuke left to complete his afternoon rounds. He carried a small knapsack, which he placed on the bed beside me after depositing a quick kiss on my lips.  
  
"This is Dr. Sanosuke Himura, Aoshi" I said, "we grew up together, would you believe that? I haven't seen him in years!"  
  
"I'm pleased to meet you, Doctor," Aoshi said, bowing slightly in Sanosuke's direction, "I'm Aoshi Shinomori. How is she?"  
  
I rolled my eyes slightly. "I'm just fine, Aoshi." I opened the knapsack and began to sift through it. Everything I needed was there, except for one item. "Aoshi, where's my laptop?"  
  
Aoshi's face was solemn as he sat down next to me on the bed, pressing one slim finger to my chin. "You need to rest, Kaoru. Correct, Doctor Himura?" he asked, turning back to Sanosuke.  
  
Sanosuke smiled. "Oh, she'll be fine, Mr. Shinomori, but you're right. She does need to rest. She'll probably have some headaches over the next few days, but I'll release her from the hospital either tomorrow or the next day," he explained. He stuck his hands in his pockets. "My prescription is that she take it very easy for at least the next week." Sanosuke then grinned wickedly at me, but he bowed toward Aoshi. "I know that you'll see that she follows my instructions, of course, Mr. Shinomori."  
  
"You may count on that, Doctor," Aoshi said, his eyes stern as he gazed down at me.  
  
I rolled my eyes again. "Mou!" I exclaimed softly. I knew that Aoshi would definitely see to it that I would get more than enough rest over the next several days, so much so that I would die of boredom.  
  
Sanosuke chuckled in reply. "It's nice to know some people don't change," he said, as he left the room. "I'll be back to check on you later this evening, Kaoru."  
  
Aoshi settled himself in the chair beside my bed, taking my hand in his. "Mou?" he asked, one eyebrow raised, a slightly puzzled expression in his eyes.  
  
I smiled. "An old childhood habit," I explained. "Mrs. Himura was always trying to break me of it." I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it. "You don't have to stay with me, Aoshi. I promise to be good and rest."  
  
"Kaoru...," he began to say, but I interrupted him. "We still have a story to investigate, Aoshi. You should go back to taking photographs and 'observing'." I lay back on the pillows and smiled up at him. "I'll take a nap now."  
  
He gently brushed back some of the hair that had fallen into my face. "Are you sure?" he asked.  
  
"I do have a bit of a headache," I replied. "Sanosuke's was right about that, but you don't need to worry. Since he's an old friend; he'll check on me more than just any other doctor. I'll be fine, Aoshi. You can't take photos while watching me sleep."  
  
He stood up, my hand still entwined in his. "I'll be back tonight, then. Is there anything you need?"  
  
"Besides my laptop?" I joked. Aoshi raised one eyebrow in reproach. "Well, you can't blame me for trying," I muttered around a grin. "No, the only thing I need is you...and some decent take out food."  
  
He bent down and kissed my forehead. "Sleep well, Kaoru," he whispered. I watched him leave the room, marveling at his constant tender care for me as I let my eyes slip close.  
  
***  
  
I slept for a little more than three hours, but I grew a bit frustrated with my confinement to a hospital bed as the remainder of the afternoon slowly turned toward evening. I was used to being active, and despite my injury, I was beginning to feel restless. I began to think about the story, a thousand different thoughts congealing in my head; thoughts that I desperately wanted to write down. I wanted my laptop, but since I didn't have it, I begged the duty nurse to lend me some paper and a pen. She agreed to let me have some, but I only if I would cooperate and stop writing after an hour. I gave her my assent and greedily took the paper and pen she handed me a few minutes later. By time Aoshi arrived nearly forty- five minutes later, the food I had requested in boxes hanging from his fingertips, I had written quite a lot, centering the initial piece of the article on the mystery of the government's silence on the murders and the equally silent family members of the victims. It would be a good beginning for the story.  
  
Aoshi could not help but notice the copious writing on the paper strewn about the table as I cleared it off so he could set down the food, but he did not say anything. Not even an eyebrow rose. After spending the last five months together, he was getting to know me too well. Aoshi knew it would be useless to try to convince me to rest completely, despite his assurances to Sanosuke.  
  
"So did you get any good photos this afternoon?" I asked, bringing a piece of tempura chicken to my lips.  
  
Aoshi shook his head. "No, but I did go to see Cho. It seems that person you were planning to go see died in the fire."  
  
The fire. I had almost completely forgotten it, both that and the explosion that had brought me here. The chicken and the chopsticks slipped back onto the plate. "How many people died in the fire, Aoshi?" I asked, pushing the dish away from me. I wanted to weep.  
  
Aoshi sat down on the bed behind me and gathered me in, his arms around my waist, pulling me tight back against his chest. "There was one other," he said, his voice gentle, but knowing that I wanted to hear the truth, "but everyone else got out. Cho didn't think it had anything to do with our story, though. He said that the fire department is pretty sure that the fire started in some old electrical wiring. There were some propane tanks in the building and that's why it exploded." His arms gripped me tighter when I did not answer him. "Please don't, Kaoru," he whispered after I had remained quiet for nearly a minute, his voice next to my ear. "Please don't feel guilty about being alive."  
  
I hung my head down, thinking and wondering once more about the man who had rescued me. "We have to find out who saved me, Aoshi," I murmured.  
  
He pressed his lips to the back of my head. "We will, Kaoru, we will." One of his hands slipped down through my hair. "Please eat, Kaoru."  
  
I reached out and brought the plate closer to me, lifting the food once more to my mouth. I knew that Aoshi was correct on both counts. I had to eat and I should not feel guilty about being alive. Aoshi knew my heart now, knew that I would be feeling guilty about those who had died, and I was once again amazed by how much he loved me. Kenshin's memory would always have a place in my heart, but this man, this tall, handsome man with his quiet and reserved ways, had finally healed my pain, and I knew I would love him always.  
  
I leaned back against him as I ate, wanting him close. He held me loosely about the waist, not saying anything, only occassionally reaching out to take a piece of chicken or two for himself. I finished eating, pushed the plate away, and snuggled against him, looking up into his face. His eyes were watching me intently. "I'm alright, Aoshi," I assured him. "Please just hold me." He complied, and nestled warm and safe in his arms, I fell asleep once more.  
  
It must have been only a half hour later when I was awoken by the sound of Sanosuke's voice. "That's not the sleeping position I would have prescribed, Mr. Shinomori, but at least she's resting," I heard him say to Aoshi. I let my eyes open and I smiled at my old friend. "Aoshi's the best medicine I could have, Dr. Himura," I said, chuckling lightly.  
  
"Hmmpf," Sanosuke replied, as he pulled the chart off the end of the bed and looked at it. "Well, Kaoru, if you rest up well tonight and tomorrow morning, I'll release you tomorrow afternoon." He placed the chart back into the rack, and then raised a finger to shake it at me. "But only if don't bother my nurses anymore for writing utensils."  
  
"Done." I said, smiling. I barely protested as Aoshi moved out from underneath me and laid me against the pillows. I was still feeling sleepy and lethargic.  
  
"I should go now anyway, Kaoru," Aoshi said, as he brushed back my hair. "I have one other person whose picture I have to take tonight." He grabbed the papers I had written the beginnings of my story on. "I'll also look at this tonight, too."  
  
I pulled him closer and kissed him. "Thank you," I whispered against his lips. "For what?" he whispered back, his blue eyes staring into mine, puzzled. "For loving me." He did not reply, but his eyes softened, letting me know that his heart allowed him no other choice.  
  
***.  
  
I was packing my bag, getting ready to leave the hospital the following afternoon when Aoshi arrived. He seemed excited about something, but Aoshi being Aoshi, I don't think Sanosuke, who was there to wish me goodbye, picked it up. I had to give Sanosuke a subtle hint that Aoshi wanted to talk to me alone. He walked out the door, offering to get a copy of my release papers and hospital bill for me.  
  
"I think I've got a picture of him, Kaoru," Aoshi said, pulling an envelope out of his camera bag. "I think I've got a picture of Battousai."  
  
"Really? How?" I asked, becoming excited myself, taking the envelope from him.  
  
"I followed one official last night, one who had at least two officers and three private bodyguards on him," Aoshi explained. "This idiot was afraid he'd get killed, but he wasn't afraid to go to a nightclub." Aoshi shook his head, looking disgusted. I knew that he had never had much patience for people who did not use their intelligence. "I took a lot of pictures of him there, but I also decided to keep following him after he left the club. After a couple of blocks, I noticed that he was being followed by someone else, so I took some more pictures. I think that Battousai is in one of those pictures." He tapped the envelope in my hand.  
  
"But how do you know that this guy is Battousai?" I asked.  
  
"When's the last time someone walked around carrying a katana, Kaoru?" Aoshi said. "I saw it; the sheath slipped out from underneath his coat."  
  
"Aoshi, you didn't follow this person, did you?" I asked, suddenly worried. "Did he see you?"  
  
"No, I was pretty far back in the shadows myself and I stayed back," Aoshi replied. "I had switched to my night vision camera at the point. When I realized that I may have taken a picture of Battousai, I also called Cho. That's probably the reason no one was killed last night. Cho probably had his officers drag the official off the street within two minutes of my phone call. I think Battousai was just following the official, trying to size up how much protection he had." He opened the envelope and pulled out one of the pictures. "We'll have to take the pictures to Cho later."  
  
He handed me the picture, my eyes widening in shock as the world tilted, and then suddenly I found myself crumpling to the floor. "Kaoru!" Aoshi's voice came from somewhere far away, and I knew that his arms were holding me, but I did not feel them. I heard him shout for Sanosuke, who came running into the room a moment later.  
  
My heart was bursting with disbelief, and yet the truth was evident in the picture I held. All I could see was the face in the picture as I shoved it into Sanosuke's hands.  
  
"Oh, my god, he's alive? He's alive? Where is he, Sano?" My voice was a broken rasp. "Where is he?" My eyes pleaded with his. I began trembling violently. Aoshi's arms tigthened around me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kaoru..." Sano began, but I did not want apologies right then. I took back the picture from him.  
  
"You've known all along, haven't you? Haven't you?" I demanded, as a sob escaped my lips. "Please, Sano, please tell me where he is!"  
  
Aoshi's soft voice spoke near my ear. "Kaoru? Doctor? What's going on?" he asked. He turned toward me; his eyes were bewildered and worried, his expression hurt. I could see them building in his eyes, the questions he wanted to ask, questions I wasn't ready to answer. "Kaoru?" he asked again, his voice becoming sharp.  
  
I shook my head, sobbing. I couldn't answer him. How could I answer him when I didn't know some of the answers myself? I looked down at the picture in my hands, ran my hands over it, not believing. The picture was becoming wet with my tears.  
  
I began to rock back and forth as I cried, ignoring Aoshi's tightening embrace, the look of pure confusion on his face. I continued to rub the picture as I murmured over and over: "He's alive, oh, my god, Kenshin's alive....Kenshin's alive.... He's alive." 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply. I want Kenshin, but I can't have him, so I'll just let myself fantasize a bit.  
  
Author's Note: Once again, I must humbly thank my beta reader, Eriesalia. She helps me see what I miss, and because of that, I'm a better writer.  
  
Please review!  
  
Chapter 9: A Dead Life  
  
I was dimly aware of Aoshi's arms lifting me off the floor and laying me gently on the bed. I continued to weep silently, curled up into a ball, clutching the picture in my hand against my chest. I heard Aoshi speaking to Sanosuke, his voice questioning, demanding. They argued for a few minutes, but I didn't pay attention to what they were saying because I was enveloped in my own pain. Then, suddenly, Sanosuke voice became much louder, over-riding Aoshi's softer tones, and I found myself looking up. Sanosuke was standing above me, a needle in his hand, but he was facing Aoshi, an expression of anger on his face. I then glanced at Aoshi; I could see that his face was just as furious through my rain of tears. But I didn't care just then. I curled up tighter.  
  
"Kaoru has just had a huge shock, Mr. Shinomori, and we are just upsetting her more," Sanosuke's voice was harsh. "I'm going to give her a sedative now. Explanations can wait until she is calm enough to give them." I felt a soft stab in my arm. "You can stay here until she falls asleep, but I suggest you don't ask more questions or upset her anymore." I heard the door to the room close.  
  
I could feel Aoshi's anxiety even though the sedative was beginning to take effect. My limbs were relaxing, my body was beginning to uncurl from it fetal position, but I still held on tightly to Kenshin's picture, not wanting to let go of the evidence that he was alive. My thoughts drifted; they were becoming incohesive, but some thoughts kept spinning against each other: Kenshin was alive, why I hadn't known? How was I going to explain this to Aoshi? Aoshi would be angry about Kenshin; why hadn't I ever told him? In soft circles, my thoughts spun, getting dimmer.  
  
My eyes were sliding closed. I had stopped crying and I was being drawn down into a pleasing lassitude. I could sleep now...no, Aoshi was there, I had to explain to Aoshi, I had to tell him about Kenshin... .  
  
I reached out my hand, and was vaguely aware of Aoshi's fingers tangling with mine. "I'm sorry, Aoshi, I'm sorry," I mumbled, desperately trying break free of the sedative's power.  
  
Aoshi didn't reply; he just pulled the blanket over me. I don't know if he heard me. He brushed back some of my hair and kissed me. I heard him murmur something, but the darkness of sleep was so soothing... .  
  
When I awoke, it was several hours later. I was alone in the hospital room, and evening was starting to darken the sky. Kenshin's picture was still in my hand; I had held it close all while I slept.  
  
I got up and finished packing the rest of my clothing in my small overnight bag. I knew what I wanted to do, needed to do. I left the room and went in search of Sanosuke, the one person who could answer my most immediate questions. A nurse told me he was doing rounds, but would be back in less than a half hour. She let me wait in his office.  
  
I was sitting in quietly in a chair when Sanosuke returned twenty minutes later. He sat behind his desk, placing a file on top of it before he spoke to me.  
  
"I'm not going to insist you go back to your room, Kaoru, because I know it would be useless," he said. "You were always stubborn, even when we were children."  
  
"Some things never do change, Sanosuke," I replied. "How long have you known?"  
  
He did not reply immediately, but considered me silently for a few moments with his brown eyes."You're wondering if I've known since the beginning, aren't you? Well, I didn't know, not until three years ago, when he was brought here as a patient."  
  
"And you chose not to tell anyone, not me, not even your parents," I commented, letting my voice convey my contempt for the decision he had made.  
  
"There are reasons for it, Kaoru. Good reasons."  
  
"You know what I want to know, Sanosuke.I want you to tell me where he is."  
  
He stood up and came around the desk, and sat on the corner, hands in his pockets. He leaned toward me. His voice was soft when he spoke. "Kaoru, take my advice, and go home. Forget that you ever saw that picture. It will much better that way. That fellow, Aoshi, seems to like you quite a bit. You've built a new life for yourself. Kenshin is your past, let him stay that way."  
  
I stared at him, glaring. "You had no right not tell me."  
  
"I took a vow, Kaoru. Kenshin made me swear not to tell anyone," he replied, "and I agreed to it. I have my reasons, just as he has his." He laid one hand against my arm. "Go home, Kaoru. I can't tell you what you want to know."  
  
"You know I won't leave, Sano," I answered vehemently. "I have a right to know the truth."  
  
"I can't, Kaoru. This is much more complicated than you know."  
  
"I've already guessed how complicated it is, Sanosuke. I know who he is, what he has become," I paused for just a moment. "Battousai."  
  
Sanosuke's eyes widened in shock as he straightened up. "How did you know?"  
  
"I'm a journalist, Sano. Aoshi and I work together. We came here to do a story on Battousai. When Aoshi showed me that picture, I knew everything," I explained. "Is that your reason, Sanosuke? That you didn't want me or anyone else to know that he was Battousai?"  
  
"Kaoru...," he growled as he turned his back on me.  
  
"The secret's out, Sanosuke. I know what he is. If that's your reason, it's no good anymore."  
  
Sano's shoulders slumped slightly. "If you know what he is, Kaoru, why would do want to know where he is?" he asked. "You should be repulsed."  
  
He was right, I should have been appalled, but I wasn't disgusted or revolted by the knowledge that Kenshin was Battousai. I would always love Kenshin no matter what he had done. "You don't seem to be too repulsed by it, either, Dr. Himura," I said dryly.  
  
He whirled back to face me. "Kenshin is my brother, damn it! I have to help him no matter what's he done!"  
  
"And he was my fiancé!" I yelled back. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "I have a right to know, Sano," I told him, my voice steady and firm. "More than anyone else, he owes me an explanation."  
  
"It would be better if you let me explain...," he began, but I could see that he was faltering. I did not think it would take much more for me to convince him. I pushed on, determined.  
  
"No, Sanosuke," I said firmly. "I don't want a second-hand explanation. It just would not be good enough, even coming from you." I lay one hand on his arm, letting my eyes look up into his. "I need to see him. I need to hear it from him. I love Kenshin just as much as you. I have the right to hear what happened from his own mouth. You can understand that, can't you?  
  
He sighed as he craned his head back, one hand sliding across the back of his neck. "I do understand, Kaoru," he said after a silent moment, the tone of his voice telling me that he had given in. "And that's the only reason, I'm going to do this." He returned to the chair behind his desk and sat down. He pulled open the desk drawer and pulled out a Post-It pad. He looked up again,, his eyes stern. "However, I must warn you. I don't think you realize how much trouble you and your friend can get into. Even knowing what he is now can be dangerous."  
  
"I'm willing to take the chance," I answered. "Please, Sano. I just want to see him, speak to him."  
  
He did not answer, but took a pen from his desktop and wrote on the pad. As I reached out to take the small piece of yellow of paper from him, he wrapped a hand gently around my wrist, his eyes now concerned. "Please be careful, Kaoru. He's not the Kenshin you used to know. I don't want to see you in this hospital again."  
  
My eyes widened in shock at his cautionary words. Did Sano think Kenshin would really hurt me? He genuinely seemed anxious for my safety. I had to let him know that I was grateful for his concern and his help. "I promise, Sano," I assured him, "and I will keep his secret and yours."  
  
I walked up to the door of Kenshin's apartment with a great deal of trepidation and fear, thoughts racing through my mind. This would be the first time I would see him in almost six years, after I thought he was dead. My heart pounded, clenching, still not believing that he was alive. What would he say when he saw me? What would I say? How would we react to each other?  
  
I stood for a few minutes before the closed door, undecided as to whether I should knock or escape down the stairs. Then I slowly raised my hand and knocked. The door opened and there he stood. I stopped breathing.  
  
It was true.  
  
He was alive.  
  
He was changed, but not everything was different. His hair was still that same long, beautiful shade of red, but he now wore the ponytail higher up on his head. His eyes were still brilliant amethysts, but they were harder, colder, and filled with something I couldn't define. And on his left cheek-- -was a scar. A cross-shaped scar.  
  
He did not seem as shocked to see me as I did him. "Sanosuke is a dead man," he growled as he turned away from the door. "I told him to keep his mouth shut."  
  
"Kenshin...," I whispered as I stood in the doorway.  
  
"You can come in, Kaoru," he said. His voice was commanding. His back was still turned toward me. I stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind me.  
  
"Sanosuke did not tell me you were alive, Kenshin," I said, and then I paused as something as realization dawned. My hand drifted to my mouth. "Oh, my god, you were the one in the warehouse! You carried me away from the explosion!"  
  
He nodded, the ponytail swaying slightly. We stood in an awkward silence for several moments. I wanted to walk over and face him, throw my arms around his neck and hold him, but I remained frozen in place.  
  
"How did you know, Kaoru?" Kenshin's voice softly floated across the room. "How did you find out, if Sanosuke did not tell you?"  
  
"A picture," I found myself volunteering. "Someone I know took a picture of you and showed it to me."  
  
He whipped around, his eyes narrowed and hard...and amber. I took a step back in fright. I had never seen his eyes change color before in the all the years I had known him.  
  
"Where's the picture, Kaoru?" he demanded, his voice ice cold. "Where is it?"  
  
I reached into my bag and I once more backpedaled in fright, my shoulder pressed into the door behind me, as he strode across the room and snatched the picture from my hand. He tore the picture into quarters and then proceeded to stalk back across his apartment. I followed him timidly after a moment and found him in the kitchen. The remnants of the picture were laying in the sink, burning away into ash. I was shocked at his behavior. Why was he so terrified of a single photograph that he had to make sure that it was utterly destroyed?  
  
"Are there any more copies, Kaoru?" he demanded as he leaned over the sink. "Are there?"  
  
"I...don't know," I managed to choke out, still frightened by his demeanor. "Aoshi may have others."  
  
He turned to face me, his expression cold and unyielding. I had never imagined myself being scared of Kenshin under any circumstances, but this was not the Kenshin I loved. Sanosuke had warned me, but I did not believe him. What had happened to him?  
  
"And who is Aoshi?" he asked.  
  
"My editor-in-chief," I answered.  
  
"Your lover?" His voice was bitter.  
  
My shoulders stiffened. "How dare you ask that?" I screamed at him. "I thought you were dead! You let me believe you were dead!" I began to cry, great gasping sobs clawing their way up my throat. I turned away, burying my face in my hands.  
  
A moment later, he was standing behind me, his arms draping around my shoulders. I let one of my hands gently wrap around his arm as tears glided down my face. "I'm sorry, Kaoru," he whispered quietly. "I thought it would be better for you this way. You were never supposed to find out."  
  
I looked up into his face. His eyes had changed back to a deep purple, asking for my forgiveness. "Please, Kenshin, please tell me what happened," I pleaded, my heart ready to forgive but still needing answers. "Please tell me why... ."  
  
He sighed and leaned his head against the nape of my neck. "I can't tell you why, Kaoru, so please do not ask me again," he said softly, his warm breath sending shivers up my spine.  
  
I was quiet for several moments, trying to decide if I should tell him what I knew. If I told him that I knew who he was, perhaps he could tell me what had happened. "I know who you are, Kenshin," I finally murmured. "I know that you are the one called Battousai."  
  
He whirled me around in his arms, his expression shocked. "How...?"  
  
"Why do you think I had that picture? Why do you think I'm here?" I challenged him. "I'm here on assignment, Kenshin. Aoshi and I came here to find Battousai, to do a story on him. In my wildest dreams, I would never have expected Battousai to be you."  
  
His arms fell away and then he walked across the room and sat down heavily on a couch, shoulders tense, head down. "Kaoru...," he began.  
  
I sat down in a nearby chair, my hands on my knees, my body leaning forward. "You don't have to worry about the story, Kenshin," I assured him. "There will be no story."  
  
He raised his eyes to mine, searching my face. I stared back steadily. "And what about this editor-in-chief? This Aoshi?"  
  
"I will deal with him," I answered. "I won't write any story, Kenshin."  
  
He was silent for several moments, watching and weighing me, before he rose from the couch and strode over to me. I looked up and became frightened once more. He loomed over me, his face hard, the scar on his cheek a vivid red. His narrowed eyes were frigid, filled with dark amber sparks. I had never seen such an expression on any man. I leaned back into the chair as if trying to hide, wondering why was he trying to scare me. It was working; I was terrified. I stared up at Kenshin, the man who held my heart in his hands, in horror, my body shaking.  
  
"That's good, Kaoru," His voice was deadly cold when he spoke. "Because if ever such a story were to be published, you and Aoshi would be dead. I would have to kill you both, Kaoru."  
  
"Kenshin...," I murmured, my voice trembling. I was truly frightened now, beyond any terror that I had ever felt before. Kenshin, the man I loved, was standing before me, threatening my life. How did this happen? What had happened to the man whose soul had been filled with music?  
  
"You should be afraid," Kenshin said, his voice strangely satisfied that he had caused me such distress. "The people I work for are very powerful and they are not afraid to kill anyone. I am their instrument of destruction, Kaoru."  
  
He wrapped a hand around my arm and forcibly lifted me up out of the chair. He walked me over to the door, and put his hand on the doorknob. His eyes still had those strange amber flecks, and they were cold, icy cold. His expression was even colder, harder, and I was frightened, but I still wanted to understand, still needed to know what had changed him. I reached out a hand to touch him, but he pushed it away.  
  
"I cannot explain, Kaoru," he said, his voice frigid, "but I will help you. You will return to this Aoshi, and make him understand what I have told you. You will destroy any more photographs and any notes or stories you have written. You will return home and forget that we ever had this conversation. You will forget you ever heard the name Battousai. I am still dead to you, Kaoru, because if I am not, you will be."  
  
He flung the door open and pushed me out into the hallway. "Pay heed, Kaoru. I do this for your own good," he said.  
  
The door slammed closed, and I found myself facing it, my hands laying against its smooth white surface, stunned. I sank down to my knees, sobbing, crying out for the man who had once made my heart sing. The man behind that door was not my Kenshin; the soul I had known and held in my hands once so long ago was gone. Kenshin was alive, but his heart was dead... .  
  
Last Author's Note: Please remember to review!!! I want reviews, I need reviews, I'm hungry for reviews! 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Watsuki-san owns Kenshin and Co. I do not. I'm just having a little fun with the Kenshin-gumi in my own way.  
  
Author's Note: This chapter is rated PG-13.  
  
I want to express my gratitude to all those who have read and reviewed this story. Thank you so very much! Please keep those reviews coming.  
  
Chapter 10: A Bemused Life  
  
I drove around Tokyo for most of the night, thinking of my conversation with Kenshin, lost in remembrances of what we had once shared together. At one point, I found myself turning a corner into a marina. I parked the car, got out, and walked along one of the long piers, yachts and sailboats with tall masts gently butting against its wooden pilings with the tide. I reached the end of the pier and leaned against the railing, staring out over the rippling water. It was a cloudy night, only the lights on the pier were reflected in the water. The water seemed so restless, just like myself. Questions about Kenshin and why he had become Battousai burned in my heart. Questions he had refused to answer. I understood why he let me think he was dead, even though he had not told me the reasons, and yet I could not understand how he had ever become Battousai. I began to believe that I would never know the answer, and sorrow filled my heart. Kenshin and I had once shared everything and yet he still wanted me to think of him as dead. I had given him all of my love and it had been twice rejected.  
  
I looked out over the bay for several minutes, watching the waves as they hit the pier, my mind agitated and bewildered over Kenshin's behavior toward me, and then suddenly I remembered his warning about not writing the story, the look in his eyes as he told me that destroying all traces of it was the only way he could help me. He could have killed me right at that moment; I had seen that plainly in his eyes, but he didn't. A slight hope bloomed. Had Kenshin truly turned into a cold, ruthless killer or were there still some warmth left in his heart, some love still left for me? And if there was, could I ever love him again? Did I really want to love a man who was a murderer, someone who had threatened to kill me? Tears began to stain my cheeks as my confusion grew.  
  
A small boat glided by, its sails gently floating in the breeze. It was so close that I could hear the sails snapping. The breeze died for a moment, and I could hear the remnants of a song drifting from the tiny craft, a soft tune on a radio. It was one of those songs that I had sung just for Kenshin so long ago, when his heart had loved both music and me. I crumpled to the wooden planks of the pier, my hands covering my face as I sobbed uncontrollably. I was so confused that I didn't know if I was crying for myself, for the love I had once shared with Kenshin, or for Kenshin's lost soul.  
  
It was just after sunrise when I returned to my hotel room. Aoshi was sitting in a chair near the open balcony window. He did not rise as he usually did when I came into a room. He sat there, his head propped on one hand, looking out to the view beyond the balcony. His body was tense, shoulders stiff, angry. I could feel his anger as I closed the door behind me. I had never seen Aoshi angry. Never.  
  
"You were supposed to be resting, Kaoru," he stated calmly, his voice stiff and controlled. His face was still turned toward the window. "I went to the hospital to check on you last night, but you weren't there. You're hurt, you're supposed to be in the hospital. You are supposed to be resting."  
  
"Aoshi...," I began to say, but he cut me off.  
  
"Who is this Kenshin?" he demanded, his voice soft, his eyes still gazing at the pink and orange sunrise. "We both know that he is Battousai, but what is he to you? Why haven't you told me about him before?"  
  
I dropped my bag on the dresser, the room key card clattering down next to it. I sat down on the edge of the bed. The last twenty-four hours had been too emotionally draining, and I was feeling overwhelmed and unprepared to deal with anything more. I simply wanted to crawl beneath the blankets and hide, lose myself in sleep. And, yet, I understood why Aoshi was angry with me. He had every right to be angry. I had kept Kenshin a secret; I had not shared my past with him as I should have. I remained silent for several moments, my eyes fixed on the carpet. Tears soaked my eyes once again. I was surprised at them; I believed that I had had nothing left in me to cry. I was tired and miserable, my emotions raw and wounded, but in this I had caused my own misery. I began to weep openly at my own cowardice for not telling Aoshi the truth.  
  
He turned toward me when the first sob escaped my lips. "I'm sorry, Aoshi, I'm sorry!" I choked out, turning my tear-stained face toward him pleadingly. I slipped off the bed and onto the floor, bent over into myself, shaking and trembling with gasping sobs.  
  
A moment passed, and then two. I did not see Aoshi rise from the chair, because my hands were wrapped around my eyes in despair, but then I felt him sitting at my side, one hand reaching out to gently massage my shoulder.  
  
"I just want to know who this Kenshin is to you, Kaoru. Don't you think I deserve that much?" His voice was soft, not demanding anymore.  
  
I stared up at him and nodded; I could see that he had accepted my gasped apology, but that perhaps not all of my behavior would be forgiven until I finally explained. I wanted to throw myself fully into his arms, and I knew he would have let me, but it would not have been right, not until I told him the truth. Aoshi then sat there on the floor at my side, patiently waiting for an answer. Minutes passed and my tears began to lessen. Aoshi still waited. He deserved answers to his questions; he was entitled to them, just as I had deserved an explanation from Kenshin. But unlike Kenshin, who had seemed to have lost his soul, I could not be so cruel as to withhold those answers. With all the strength I had left within me, I took several deep breaths, gathering myself and my ragged, torn emotions together.  
  
"Kenshin is...was my...fiance." My voice came out as a rasp, my throat closed from a day of continual weeping.  
  
Aoshi's face was calm as he looked down at me, the blue eyes I loved were still perplexed. His hand tightened on my shoulder. "Go on," he prompted softly.  
  
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself further, searching for the words. This was Aoshi, only the honest, simple truth would be possible. "We grew up together, it was that 'girl/boy next door' thing," I explained, letting my voice grow stronger. "We went to the same schools, starting dating in high school; we went to the same university. He went to Europe to study for a year, and we planned to get married after I graduated. Then the chartered plane he was on crashed when he was returning home for my graduation. Kenshin's body was never found."  
  
I let my head hang down, waiting for Aoshi to speak. He reached out and lifted up my chin so I would face him. "He wasn't a murder then, was he, Kaoru?" he asked gently.  
  
I shook my head against his fingers. I found myself wanting to reach inside to Aoshi's soul, so that he would understand why I had once loved the man now called Battousai. "The Kenshin Himura I knew was a very gifted, very talented pianist," I answered, my voice low. "The man I loved back then would never have become a killer. His soul was made of music, and he brought music to life for me; he taught my soul to sing."  
  
Aoshi did not reply, but he continued to gaze steadily at me, still waiting for an answer to the question as to why I had not told him about Kenshin. A few quiet moments passed before he spoke again. "Do you know how I feel about you, Kaoru?" Aoshi inquired, his voice gently beseeching. "I have given you my heart. I have to know if you love him still."  
  
"I don't know...I don't know," I murmured, shaking my head fiercely. I hesitated for just one more second, and then finally gave him the explanation he had wanted, the one he deserved. "Until yesterday, Kenshin was dead to me. He was my dead love. That is why I never told you. He was part of my past. A past that I wanted to forget because it was too painful to remember." Once again, Aoshi did not say anything, and I began to worry that what I had said was not enough of an answer. I took one of his hands in my own, letting the fingers of my other hand gently caress his face. "Please, Aoshi, listen to me. Please?"  
  
He looked down toward me, his eyes capturing mine. His hands reached out to brush away the tears from my face and he nodded once. I raised my hand and laid it across his wrist. I could feel his pulse racing against my fingertips. His face may not have been betraying anything at the moment, but I knew then by feel of his pulse that he was just as emotional as I was. I let my hand gently massage his forearm.  
  
"Kenshin let me think that he died in that plane crash six years ago. I think he did it because sometime during the time he spent Europe, he became Battousai, but I also think he did it to protect me and his family. He didn't want anyone to know what he had become." I said softly, praying that this would be enough of an explanation because Kenshin had not given me anything more than this. Aoshi's hands began to drop from my face, I gathered them tightly in my own, holding them cupped around my cheeks. I let my eyes stare deeply into his, wanting, needing him to understand. I took a deep breath and went on. "Aoshi, I haven't felt anything since then, I wouldn't let myself feel anything with another man. I couldn't sing a single song. My heart was too broken. I couldn't sing...and I then I met you."  
  
His eyes were locked with mine, searching my soul, and I realized I had to let him know how I felt, that he had healed me so I could sing again. "I love you, Aoshi Shinomori," I murmured. "You make me feel so wonderful, so beautiful. Like I'm the most precious thing in the world."  
  
He eyes widened slightly at the words I had finally let myself speak. "You are the most precious thing in the world to me," he said, his voice tender as he pulled me into his embrace. I found myself suddenly curled in his lap, his lips brushing against mine. I reached up and put my hand on his nape, urging him closer. Our kiss deepened, tongues entwining and dancing against each other. His hand caught in my hair, arching my mouth further up to his. Moments later, after we let our lips part from each other, I lay my head against his chest. His arms tightened around me, and I found myself being lulled by the steady thrum of his heartbeat. It has been a harrowing day and my overstressed emotions were beginning to catch up with me. I was exhausted. As we sat quietly pressed against each other, I could no longer deny the sleep I needed. Within minutes, I was falling asleep, my head lolling against Aoshi's chest. The last thing I remembered before sleep claimed me was his arms lifting me up and gently laying me on the bed. He kissed my cheek and whispered, "I love you also, Kaoru Kamiya." A blanket was wrapped around me, and then the lights were turned off. I didn't even hear the door close behind him as he left.  
  
I slept for several hours, exhausted from my beleaguered emotions. It was evening before I awoke. I took a long shower, all of my thoughts on Aoshi and what we had known in our hearts for a very long time but had finally revealed with words. I got dressed, my mind turning to food; I could not remember when I had eaten last. I called Aoshi's cell phone. Moments later, he was knocking on my door. He took my hand as we headed down the hotel corridor toward the elevators. He suddenly stopped and turned around.  
  
"What is it?" I asked.  
  
"I forgot the camera in my room," Aoshi answered. "It's not going to do us much good there."  
  
"Oh, god, oh, my, god, I forgot!" I said, suddenly remembering Kenshin's warning of the day before. "Damn!"  
  
"What is it, Kaoru?" Aoshi's voice was laced with worry. He must have sensed my sudden fright.  
  
"We shouldn't talk about this out here," I replied. "Let's go back to your room."  
  
I pulled him after me and practically shoved him into the room after I put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob and slammed the door shut. Just for good measure, I locked it as well.  
  
"Kaoru?" Aoshi asked, obviously shocked and confused by my behavior. I pressed my hand against his chest and looked up into his eyes. Aoshi dropped a hand to my cheek. "What is it, Kaoru? What's frightening you?"  
  
"Where's the other picture, Aoshi? Are there any negatives? Any more copies?" I asked, trying to keep the dread that was creeping up my spine out of my voice.  
  
"Other picture?"  
  
"The ones you took of Kenshin, Aoshi. Where are they?"  
  
"But...why?"  
  
"Kenshin said they would kill us, Aoshi. He told me that the people he works for would kill us if his story was ever revealed."  
  
Aoshi's eyes widened. "I filed it yesterday morning, just after I left you at the hospital. I took the notes you wrote and edited them. I emailed the story yesterday, and the magazine is going publish it this morning..." 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Watsuki-san owns Kenshin and Co. I'm just letting my imagination run away with his characters.  
  
Finding the True Heart  
  
By Amberle-chan  
  
Chapter 11: Threatened Life  
  
I paced around the room restlessly, listening as Aoshi contacted the office. His voice was level as he spoke to Yumi, and I wondered how he could maintain such a calm state in the face of what I had just told him. I could not stop thinking about the look in Kenshin's eyes and the icy coldness of his voice when he told me that he would kill us if this ever happened. Was it really only yesterday? It seemed a lifetime ago.  
  
"And the Tokyo shipment?" Aoshi asked. I could hear Yumi answering him, and I suddenly wished we had access to a speaker phone so I could understand what she was saying. I was praying that the magazine had not been printed, that something had gone wrong with production along the way. My imagination was also becoming paranoid; I kept picturing Kenshin throwing open the door, that sword from another age poised to kill us both.  
  
"Everything?" Aoshi said. A muttered reply. "No, that's fine, Yumi. I just wanted to check and make sure that everything was running smoothly. Goodbye."  
  
He placed the phone back on its cradle and turned to me. "It's been shipped," he informed me, his voice grim. "The entire print run."  
  
I sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. "Oh, god, Aoshi, what should we do?"  
  
Aoshi crouched down before me and took my hands in his own. "I won't let anything happen to you, Kaoru," he assured me, his eyes locked onto mine. I believed him, something deep inside told me that he would protect me, no matter what the cost. Before I could say anything in reply, he continued. "And I think you know what we have to do. We both know who Battousai is now, and despite any past feelings you have had for this man, we must let the authorities know. We have to contact Cho."  
  
I shook my head. "Do you honestly think Cho would be able to get near him, Aoshi?" I questioned. "Kenshin has already killed at least seventeen of Cho's people."  
  
"We have exposed Kenshin as Battousai, Kaoru," Aoshi answered. "Every police officer in the country will be searching for him now."  
  
I hung my head down, pondering, and in the back of my mind I remembered bits and pieces of the conversation I had had with Kenshin. He had told me that he was working for someone, and I began to contemplate who that someone could be. Kenshin was killing these people because he had been ordered to... .  
  
I brought my head and gazed steadily at Aoshi as my thoughts coalesced into an idea. "I don't think that will matter. Even if exposed, I think he's too well protected."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Think about it, Aoshi. Kenshin is an assassin. He told me that he's not doing this on his own. Someone pays him to do this, someone gives him orders as to whom he's supposed to kill."  
  
He was silent for several moments. "And you think it's someone high up in the government? Someone high enough up to protect him?"  
  
"Yes," I replied. "And I'm starting to think that it's not about a government takeover. I think someone is getting rid of the politicians they don't like."  
  
"Or politicians who are dirty." Aoshi mused as he stood up. "We never did investigate the victims themselves, Kaoru." He bent his head down, lost in thought for a few moments, his black bangs hiding his eyes. "Then why does the government want to hide the fact that politicians are getting murdered? Even if they are corrupt, there's nothing new about that."  
  
"I think there are two sides to this thing, Aoshi," I said. "Someone high up may be ordering Kenshin to commit the murders, but I think someone even higher up wants Kenshin to be caught, but may also want to protect the person who's giving Kenshin his orders."  
  
"That doesn't make sense, Kaoru," Aoshi answered, his voice frustrated. "It's just not logical."  
  
"I know it's a cliché, Aoshi, but when does murder ever make sense?" I asked, thinking how much it did not make sense that Kenshin was the one committing the murders. Once more I wondered how he had ever become Battousai, but there was a more pressing matter at hand. Would he really kill us for exposing him? I stood up, walked over to Aoshi and looked into his face. He said he would protect me, but I also needed to protect him. "You're right, Aoshi. We need to tell Cho."  
  
Cho was leaning back in his chair, reading our news magazine when we entered his office. He stood up as Aoshi closed the door behind us.  
  
"Well, if it isn't my favorite two journalists," he said, sarcasm laced throughout every word. He raised up the magazine, pointed to the picture of Kenshin and read the caption underneath it. "'Could this be the shadow assassin the police have named Battousai?' Have you lost your mind, Shinomori? I thought you were going to help me! If this guy is Battousai, he's long gone by now."  
  
"He is Battousai, Detective." I said. "I know who he is."  
  
"And how do you know that, Miss Kamiya?"  
  
"His real name is Kenshin Himura," I supplied. "I was once engaged to him."  
  
He sat back down in his chair, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "You were once engaged to him?" His voice was shocked. He paused for a moment and then pointed a finger at me. "Now, let me get this straight. You come here with Shinomori to do a story on a series of murders and it turns out that you were once engaged to the murderer?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He turned to Shinomori. "I've got to hand it to you, Shinomori. You do place yourself in the most interesting situations." Aoshi did not reply but just stared back at him, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his blue eyes hard. Cho pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat, Miss Kamiya, and explain everything to me," he commanded. "Now."  
  
I then explained the whole situation to him. I told him about my past relationship with Kenshin, how Aoshi had taken a picture of him, and how I went to his apartment to confront him. I described my promise to Kenshin that the story would never be published, but that Aoshi had already sent the story to the magazine without my knowledge. I told him of Kenshin's threat to kill us.  
  
"You know where he lives?" Cho asked, surprised. I nodded. "What's the address?" The next moment I was writing it down and he was on the phone trying to obtain a search warrant.  
  
"Please, detective, don't hurt him," I pleaded after Cho finished his phone call. "I know what's he's become, I know you have to do your job, but please don't hurt him."  
  
Cho rose from his desk. "I can't guarantee anything," he said as he walked over to the door and opened it. "I just have one last question, Miss Kamiya. Would you have said anything to me at all about Battousai if the story had not been published? Would you have really protected an assassin?"  
  
I hung my head down. Aoshi stood behind me, his hands were resting lightly on my shoulders. I knew he was waiting for the answer to that question as well. "I don't know, detective," I managed to finally whisper. "I'm very confused about Kenshin right now." I raised my head to look into his face. "I don't know the man he is now, detective, but I do know the man he used to be. Six years ago, Kenshin never would have done this. That was the man I loved. He terrifies me now. I'm certain he will try to kill us. You may think that I may have been protecting him, but I was also trying to protect myself and Aoshi." I looked up at Aoshi; his hands tightened on my shoulders, a small smile on his lips.  
  
Cho harrumphed. "You two should stay here until I get back," he growled as he slammed the door closed.  
  
I stared at the shut door as if were the closed portal to my own soul. "I just betrayed Kenshin," I murmured.  
  
"He betrayed you first, Kaoru," Aoshi stated, his voice soft next to my ear. I had not even realized that he had stooped down next to me, his arms embracing me from behind, I was so focused on what I had just done. I had betrayed the man I once loved. "It was the right thing to do."  
  
I did not turn to look at him, but hung my head down. There was too much shame in what I had just done. "I know, Aoshi, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."  
  
His arm tightened around me. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I know that this has been extremely difficult for you. More than I can imagine right now."  
  
I nodded my head, my hair hiding my face. I felt guilty for what I just done, but then as the moments went on, I let my thoughts dwell on complex aspects of the situtation, and I was suddenly struck by the realization that my actions could also save Kenshin. My resolve began to grow and I felt my guilt lessen. I had betrayed Kenshin, but in truth he had betrayed more than just me; he had been disloyal to himself and all of the beauty that had once been part of his soul. If I could help Kenshin find some redemption by turning him over to the authorities, so be it. I knew the truth of Kenshin's heart. I knew that he was never meant to deal out destruction and death. I would help him find the music in his soul once more. I would not let him spend the rest of his life as an assassin.  
  
As my determination grew, I became more aware of Aoshi's warm embrace and his supportive silence as he waited for me to collect my thoughts. I took one of his hands in my own and kissed it. As I was about to tell him how grateful I was, the door opened and Cho stepped back into the office. He was wearing a bullet-proof jacket and was putting a gun into a shoulder holdster. I stared at in surprise at his hip; there was a sheathed sword hanging from his belt.  
  
He noticed my startled expression and put his hand on the hilt. "Gotta fight fire with fire," he explained. "Guns really haven't made much a difference against this guy and I've got some sword training myself." He turned to Aoshi, who had risen as soon as Cho opened the door. "Want to come along, Shinomori? Your skills could be helpful."  
  
"No, I will stay with Kaoru," Aoshi said firmly.  
  
"Suit yourself," Cho replied. "I've got something else to arrange. I'll be back in minute."  
  
I threw a puzzled frown at Aoshi as the door closed once more. "Skills?"  
  
His eyes softened as he looked down at me. "You've shared your past with me, Kaoru. It's time I told you about mine. I have been...," he began to say and then the door flew open once more.  
  
Cho entered the office again, this time followed by a short officer dressed in a standard police uniform who was wearing a cheerful smile. "This is Officer Soujiro," he introduced the smaller man. "He'll be guarding you for the rest of the day." My eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh, don't let his size fool you, Miss Kamiya. He's got more skill with a sword than I have. Well, I've got to get going."  
  
"Detective Cho, please remember...," I began to say, my voice pleading again.  
  
"I can't promise anything, Miss Kamiya, but I will do what I can," he replied as he left, the door swinging shut behind him.  
  
I turned to the small man standing in front of me. Aoshi was almost twice as tall as he was. "Just how many police officers know how to use a sword?" I asked.  
  
That cheerful smile never left his lips. "Oh, some of us still study the old arts, Miss Kamiya," he answered. "That's why Cho and I were assigned to find Battousai."  
  
Aoshi and I spent the next three hours sitting quietly together in Cho's office, occassionally speaking with Officer Soujiro, who obviously was not shy, very talkative, and possessed of such endless cheerfulness that I was beginning to be disturbed by it. I could tell that Aoshi was annoyed by the man, because at one point he was sitting stiffly in his chair, his arms across his chest, his black bangs hiding his eyes, pointedly ignoring him. Soujiro did not seem notice, and if he did, he did not seem to care as he babbled incessantly about his job. I had a feeling that Aoshi was sorry that he had not gone with Cho. With that thought, I was reminded of the unfinished conversation we had started earlier, and I was about to turn to Aoshi to ask him a question, when Cho strode into his office.  
  
His expression was a mixture of rage and frustration. "Gone!" he shouted as he slammed the door closed. "The whole apartment was empty. It looked like no one had lived there in months! You really screwed up this time, Shinomori."  
  
Aoshi rose from his chair, one hand clenched in a fist, the only sign that he was angry, but I was surprised when he spoke, his voice calm as he agreed. "Yes."  
  
I stood up and interposed myself between them. "This is not Aoshi's fault, Detective Cho," I stated firmly. "This is my fault. I should have told him about Kenshin sooner."  
  
"Kaoru," Aoshi's voice softly murmured behind me.  
  
I turned to face him completely. "No, Aoshi," I said. "This is my fault. I am to blame. If I told you who Kenshin was earlier, none of this would have happened."  
  
"Kaoru..."  
  
"You two don't have time for a lover's spat right now," Cho said as he sat down in his chair. "Battousai will try to kill you, and if not him, the people he works for will." He turned to Soujiro, who had stood aside patiently waiting for orders. He was still smiling. "Take another officer and escort Mr. Shinomori and Miss Kamiya back to their hotel. See that they pack their things quickly and then return here."  
  
"What do you think you're doing, Cho?" Aoshi asked, his voice low and dangerous.  
  
"I'm putting you and the little lady in protective custody, Shinomori," Cho explained. "If you two survive this, you can thank me later. I suggest you go now. There's no time to waste."  
  
Soujiro opened the door and escorted us out of the office. He took a few minutes to collect another officer, a woman named Omasu, before we left for the hotel.  
  
Soujiro informed us that we only had fifteen minutes to pack our things as he and Omasu accompanied Aoshi and I, respectively, to our hotel rooms. Aoshi had remained silent during the entire trip back to the hotel, and I was having trouble trying to discern what he was feeling. It was like he had returned to the man he had been before our relationship had started, taciturn and elusive.  
  
I reached out for his hand as we paused before his doorway while he took his key card out of his wallet. I gazed up into his eyes, my heart breaking that my past had caused this situation. "I'm sorry, Aoshi," I whispered as I let my hand press against his chest. "I'm sorry. I never wanted this happen."  
  
He pulled me closer and brushed his lips across my forehead. "I know, Kaoru," he replied gently. His hand cupped my face. "I won't let anything happen to you, Kaoru Kamiya. This I swear to you." His eyes deepened into a teal color as I stared into them, a color I had never seen in his eyes before. I shivered slightly at the determination and resolve I saw in his face. I then realized how deeply Aoshi Shinomori loved me and that he would protect me with his very own life.  
  
I gazed at him speechless for a moment before I nuzzled my lips against his hand gratefully. He turned away and opened his door. Soujiro stepped through and Aoshi followed. The door closed.  
  
"Miss Kamiya?" Officer Omasu questioned.  
  
I did not reply to her but led her to my room, which was four rooms down from Aoshi's. I opened the door, turned on the light, and she preceded me into the room. I followed her in and closed the door behind me. I turned back to face her as I heard soft thud. Omasu was laying face first on the floor, blood spilling out from around a knife wound in her back. I opened my mouth to scream, but someone's hand snaked around my head, roughly pushing my lips closed, and then I couldn't breathe as darkness claimed my sight....  
  
Author's Note: Sorry I took so long to update, folks, but work, life in general, and jury duty (I hate jury duty!!!) got in the way. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please remember to review! 


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: Watsuki-sensei and Company own Ruruoni Kenshin and Company. I'm just letting my imagination run away with them for a while.

**Author's Notes**: I must apologize to the fans of this fic for not updating sooner. I found this particular chapter extremely difficult to write. I am not very good at writing some types of action scenes, simply because I don't know enough of the mechanics of the weapons being used.

**Warning:** A main character from the RK world introduced in this chapter is very Out-Of-Character. It was necessary for this fic to continue so it can reach its proper conclusion. You have been warned, please do not flame me for this!!!

**Acknowledgment:** Once again, I am very grateful to my beta reader, Eriesalia, for all of her help and great feedback. I also want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story.

_Finding the True Heart_

By Amberle-chan

Chapter Twelve: Life's Coincidences

I couldn't move. It was the first thing I noticed when I slipped back into consciousness. I was barely aware of the throbbing pain in my head or the foul taste in my mouth. No matter how much I tried and struggled, I could not move my arms or my legs. It took a few more moments for my head to clear and then I realized that my limbs had been lashed down into place. I was sitting on a chair and my legs and arms had been bound down to it by thick ropes.

"Ah, I see you're finally awake," a voice drawled from the darkness beyond. I swung my head around, trying to determine where that cold voice was coming from. I could see nothing beyond the chair, nothing met my eyes but inky blackness.

"No doubt you are surprised that you are alive," the voice said. "I am surprised by that, too. Battousai has rarely failed to carry out any of his assignments before, but then every man has one weakness. It's funny that I never expected Battousai's to be a woman."

I narrowed my eyes, trying to pierce the shadows around me. "You're the one who controls Kenshin. You're his 'boss'," I spat out.

There was a spark of light and then the smell of acrid cigarette smoke assailed my senses. I could see a pair of yellow eyes staring back at me from several feet away behind the small flaring light of the match he held near his face. "Haijime Saitou," he replied as he flicked the match out.

My eyes widened in shock. I knew who he was. This man standing before me was one of the deputy directors of the government's Internal Affairs Department.

He threw a light switch, and I blinked a few times so that I could see properly in this new light. I was in a room of polished wooden walls and floors. Swords and various other instruments of the martial arts hung on the walls. I was in a dojo.

"A fitting venue, is it not?" he asked, as he took a puff on his cigarette and leaned against one of the walls. "The perfect place to remind one's star pupil of the lesson he should have never forgot."

"And that would be?"

"Slay Evil Immediately," he stated, and then he paused to pull at his cigarette once more. "And leave no witnesses behind." His eyes seemed to glow through the haze of smoke surrounding him. "Unfortunately, you, my dear, are a witness. You revealed Battousai's secret, and now mine. For that you must be punished. As must he for not completing his task as I taught him to."

He puffed on the cigarette for a few more moments and then threw it down at his feet, stepping once on the embers. I stared back at him, not trying to hide my growing terror and began to actively struggle against the ropes that bound me. He smirked, grabbed another chair, placed it only two feet away from me, and straddled it. He pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it.

"Don't bother, Miss Kamiya," he said. "Do you actually think if you were able to untie those ropes that you would escape alive?" Another puff of smoke followed.

I ceased struggling and leaned back against the chair. I was terrified, but I was not going to let myself be defeated. "Where is Kenshin?" I demanded.

"Oh, don't worry," Saitou replied. "I've left a little trail of breadcrumbs for him to follow. He'll be along shortly." Another haze of smoke followed his statement, and then he pointed his cigarette at me. "You know what is very interesting about you, Miss Kamiya? That you were once engaged to Battousai. I just love coincidences, don't you?" He paused and then smiled slightly, his lips curling into a grimace. "But then, you had no regrets about betraying him, did you? Just as he betrayed you."

"I wanted him to stop killing. I know his heart. Somehow you've warped him. Kenshin was never meant to be a killer."

He laughed then, loud, long, and cruelly. "You're very funny, Miss Kamiya. Or just incredibly naïve. Kenshin Himura was always meant to be a killer." He paused for a moment, clouds of smoke now hanging about us both, he was sitting so close to me. "No doubt you would like an explanation for all of this. Why your precious piano playing boyfriend became an assassin?"

I remained silent, not wanting to give him an answer. He already knew it. Why should I give satisfaction to a man who was planning to kill me?

He smiled again and flicked some ash away from his cigarette. "Very well, then. Let's see...it began a little more than six years ago. I went to Europe on vacation and when I went to visit the dojo of an old acquaintance of mine, I saw a young man who was practicing battojutsu. It was your Kenshin, of course. Never in my life had I seen someone wield a sword with such power." He stopped speaking for a moment to take the last puff of his cigarette before he put it out. He studied me for a moment. "You're surprised, aren't you? You never knew that Kenshin had been studying martial arts even before you were engaged? Oh well, you can add it to the list of secrets he never told you."

He was right; I was surprised, and had I let it show in my face. I steeled myself, letting my face become calm and expressionless. I was not going to let this man get to me.

He continued speaking. "Well, I took it upon myself to teach him all that I knew, to convert him to my cause. He had many lessons to learn, some harder than others."

"You gave him that scar on his cheek."

He smirked. "Oh, yes, of course. A teacher sometimes must be harsh with his students. He made a mistake and I punished him for it. When he made the same mistake the following week, I punished him again. He never made that mistake again. Until now." He stood up and moved off, lighting another cigarette as he did so. "And now he must be punished again. He must learn to complete his tasks."

He then turned back to me and studied me silently for a few moments. "I have no doubt that you are still curious. Journalists always have too many questions." He turned his left wrist over and looked at his watch. "Well, we do have some time before he arrives. So go ahead, Miss Kamiya, ask your questions."

I stared back at him for several moments, watching him as he smoked. He had already given me one of the answers I sought. I knew what the "mistakes" Kenshin had made were. He kept saying that Kenshin had not "completed his tasks." Kenshin must have left some of his early victims alive. I knew I was right. Kenshin had never been a killer in his heart. Somehow Haijime Saitou had manipulated Kenshin into becoming Battousai. But he was also right about me. I was inquisitive; I wanted to know his reasons for doing this.

"Just exactly what is your 'cause'?" I asked, giving into my overwhelming curiosity.

"Oh, I've already told you that," he replied. "Slay Evil Immediately." He gazed back at me, studying me once more. "Not enough of an answer? Ok." He sat back down in the chair, flicking again at the cigarette. "I hate corruption, Miss Kamiya, in all of its forms. Corruption stains the soul like black oil. You can never get it off your fingers. And some of our more prominent officials and government representatives are so corrupt that it is actually physically sickening to be in their presence. So I had their presences removed.

"Of course, I could not do this myself, even though I am just as a good swordsman as Battousai, perhaps even better to a certain degree. However, I am too visible a person, I have too much of a public profile, so I needed a tool. Kenshin Himura became my tool."

"You used him. You manipulated him."

"Yes, I used him. But do you actually still think he's not a killer, Miss Kamiya? No one can wield a sword as he does and not be a killer. He's been a killer for the last five years, killing all who are corrupt. Personally, I don't think he can help himself. His lust for blood is insatiable."

"Not all blood," I replied. "I'm still alive."

"A mistake that will be rectified as soon as Battousai arrives," he said. The dojo door slid open, letting in the noise and light from the street. "Ah, here is my recalcitrant student now."

He turned toward the doorway as did I, but it was not Kenshin's slight form that was silhouetted in the entrance. This shadow was tall and lean, a figure I knew as well as my own soul.

_Aoshi._

I watched him with eager eyes as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, and yet I grew even more afraid. I began to struggle against the ropes binding me again. This couldn't be happening. Aoshi was alone. He could not fight Saitou. I could not let him get hurt because of me. Aoshi's eyes flicked once to me, and for that briefest of moments, I saw the love I felt for him reflected back, before his eyes turned into icy, crystal hardness as they settled on Saitou.

Saitou flipped his cigarette away and rose from the chair, his yellow eyes turning back to me; for once the expression of smirking cruelty was gone, taken over by surprise. It slipped back into place as he said, "You are interesting, aren't you, Miss Kamiya? You captivated not one, but two of my former students' hearts." His smiled wryly. "Well, as I told you before, I just love coincidences."

My eyes widened in bewilderment. What was Saitou talking about? They widened even further as I heard the hiss of steel being pulled out of a sheath. I turned to back to stare at Aoshi. He was holding twin blades in his hands. Was this the secret he was going to tell me in Cho's office before we were interrupted? That he had once studied swordsmanship himself?

Saitou laughed once, a cruel sound. "You are a fool, Shinomori," he said derisively. "You were a fool when you gave up those swords eight years ago, and you're still a fool for thinking that you can beat me now."

"You will release Kaoru," Aoshi commanded.

Saitou's eyes narrowed as he shook his head. "I don't think so, Shinomori." He then pulled his own sword out of the sheath that lay against his hip and dropped into a slight crouch. He extended one arm and the sword was pulled back parallel to his arm, its silvery edge glinting in the light. "She must be punished for revealing secrets that should have never been exposed."

"I exposed Battousai, not Kaoru," Aoshi stated as he stepped further into the room. His own swords were held down low by his hips and raised upwards. "Let her go."

"It's too late for that now. She will die, as will you."

Then, he moved toward Aoshi, so fast that I could only see a blur. I know I cried out, but my shout went unheard as their swords clashed. Aoshi halted Saitou's frontal assault by capturing Saitou's blade between his crossed swords. I watched, frightened, my breath caught in my throat. Saitou's sword was only a mere three inches from Aoshi's throat. I struggled against my bindings once more, horrified by the sight before my eyes.

Aoshi threw his weight against Saitou and sent him skidding backwards. Saitou's yellow eyes glinted menacingly. "Perhaps you did not stop practicing after all, hmm?" he asked.

Aoshi did not say anything, but he resumed his previous stance, swords held out to either side, and in that one movement, he changed before my very eyes. This was not the Aoshi I knew; the man I knew was calm and quiet, reserved. This Aoshi was hard, unyielding, his intensity threatening, filling the room with its power. Was this the darkness I had sensed in him when we had first met? Who was this stranger fighting to save my life, whom I loved?

Saitou dropped into that strange crouch once more, his sword parallel to his arm. "Even if you have, you are still no match for me!" he cried as he rushed forward.

I could not see them as they swung at each other. Their movements were just a kinetic blur, the bell-like sound of steel hitting steel the only thing I could discern.

Minutes passed as I sat watching the battle before me, every muscle straining against the ropes that bound me, praying for this nightmare to end, when I suddenly I heard a sound I never wanted to hear. It was the sound of the thud of a sword not hitting another sword but bone, and then time slowed as I saw Aoshi's body crash heavily into the dojo wall, Saitou's sword buried in his shoulder. Aoshi's twin swords fell from his hands, hitting the floor with a dull clang.

"Aoshi!" I screamed. "No!"

Aoshi struggled to get up but only collapsed again as Saitou pulled the sword roughly out of his shoulder. He flicked Aoshi's blood off the sword. "You knew you could never beat me, Shinomori," Saitou snarled, "and yet you just had to try. And for what? Over the mere wisp of a girl? You fool."

The sword lifted for the killing blow and I screamed again.

"Saitou."

That single word, though spoken softly, resonated throughout the room. Saitou's sword halted its downward stroke as he turned to the person who had called his name.

Kenshin.

I closed my eyes briefly. Was he here to save us? Or to kill us? When I opened my eyes again, I could not look at him, even though I was aware that he was standing by the dojo's entrance. My eyes could not leave Aoshi's prone form as he lay unconscious against the wall. "Aoshi," I murmured, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I could not see how badly he was hurt from where I sat.

"So, you have finally arrived," Saitou said sarcastically. He straightened up and tugged the blue uniform he was wearing back into place. He looked back down at Aoshi. "You can finish what you left undone. Kill him first and then her."

"No."

I swung my eyes toward Kenshin. He was standing in the shadow of the dojo's doorway, a sheathed sword lay against his hip; his arms and hands held loosely by his side. I glanced at Saitou. His face was an expression of disbelief.

"No?" Saitou asked. His voice and face were enraged. "You dare defy me? I tell you who to kill and you do it. You will kill them...now!"

Kenshin took a few steps into the room. "I have made a decision, Saitou. I will not spill anymore blood," he stated calmly. "I will not be your assassin any longer."

"Oh, but you will," Saitou snarled. "You just don't want to spill hers. You will always be a killer, Battousai."

Kenshin shook his head. "It's over, Saitou. I will not kill again. There has been too much blood."

Hope swelled as he slowly began walking toward me. I stared at him, unbelieving that this was the same man whom I had confronted a few days ago; the man who had threatened my life. What had changed? Had he found his true heart?

There was no time for me to ponder this sudden change in Kenshin further as Saitou suddenly rushed forward, his sword poised to strike. "Then I don't have any use for you anymore, do I?" he cried.

"Kenshin!" I screamed, but he had already whipped around, his blade already out of its sheath, deflecting the blow.

Saitou skidded away, but only for a moment. Steel met steel in a loud, clanging crash. They battled each other even faster than Saitou had fought against Aoshi, their blades just silver swinging arcs of light. Their conflict roamed all over the room, a deadly dance of harsh breathing, slashing swords, and clashing blows. They did not taunt each other, so focused was their concentration. I knew then, despite Saitou calling Kenshin his "student," that I was watching two Masters striving for prominence. Death would be the only prize for the loser.

I kept glancing at Aoshi as they fought. He still had not moved from where he lay haphazardly against the wall, blood seeping slowly from his wound. His eyes were closed, but I could not tell if he was breathing. I took a sobbing, gasping breath. Would I lose both of the men I loved in one night?

I lifted my eyes back to Kenshin and Saitou; they had separated briefly, each gasping harshly for breath, each cut and bleeding. Blood was flowing from a wound in Kenshin's side, and Saitou had a long, gaping gash across his chest. They circled each other, eyes narrowed into slits, assessing what reserves of strength they had left. Long moments passed, as I watched them both, my eyes switching back and forth between the two of them as I wondered who would strike again first.

Suddenly, Saitou charged toward Kenshin, his movements only a blur of motion. Kenshin side stepped Saitou's forward rush by mere inches, but his sword swung out and downward, connecting with Saitou's blade with a solid clang.

Saitou's sword snapped, and four inches of steel clattered to the floor.

Kenshin lowered his sword slightly. "It's over, Saitou," he said, coldly. "You cannot win."

"It will never be over, Battousai," Saitou growled. "Not until you are dead."

Saitou rushed forward again, his broken blade still held tightly in his grasp, aiming directly for Kenshin's chest. Kenshin easily repelled the blow, but as he did so, Saitou pulled a small dagger out of his waistband with his other hand and slashed Kenshin's upper arm. Kenshin's katana fell to the floor.

Before Kenshin could even recover, Saitou viciously punched Kenshin in his wounded side, sending him crashing against the dojo wall to land just a few feet away from Aoshi.

Saitou dropped his own broken sword and stalked over to him, the dagger raised high

"Now, my dear student," he snarled, a look of pure fury on his face, "you will receive the punishment you deserve for not obeying your master."

The dagger lifted to strike. I screamed.

"ENOUGH!"

The shout reverberated throughout the room.

The small blade halted its downward stroke as Saitou turned his attention to the person who had spoken so forcefully. My own eyes followed his and then widened in shock and astonishment.

I was looking at Toshimichi Okubo, Director of the Department of Internal Affairs.

He walked swiftly over to Saitou, grabbing his wrist, wresting the dagger away. "It is over, Saitou," he stated quietly and calmly. "The killing will stop. Now." He then turned away and walked toward me; the dagger slashed against the ropes, setting me free. Okubo extended his hand toward me to help me stand. "Miss Kamiya, I apologize," he began to say, but I ignored both him and my stiff limbs as I sped toward Aoshi's side.

His eyelids fluttered open as I pressed my hand against his cheek. He gritted his teeth in pain and then struggled to get up. I gently pushed his good shoulder back down. "No, Aoshi, just lay still," I quietly ordered. He slumped back against the wall, his eyes never leaving my face.

I looked over to Kenshin; he was also attempting to stand up, using his hand to brace himself against the wall. He watched me silently for a moment, his eyes dark and hooded by his long, red bangs before he turned his stony gaze back toward to Saitou. Saitou stood a few feet away, an expression of fury and disbelief upon his face, as he glared back at Kenshin.

Okubo stood between the two of them, his harsh expression commanding their obedience to his will. He spoke once more.

"It is over. The killing ends now."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Watsuki-sensei and Company own Ruruoni Kenshin and Company. I'm just letting my imagination run away with them for a while.

**Author's Note**: This is it! Except for the epilogue, this story is now finished. I know that I took a very long time to finish it, but real life does have to take priority. I'm very happy that its readers were patient and did not bother me constantly to update. Thank you.

Once again, I am very grateful to Eriesalia for her friendship and for beta reading this story. I also am deeply grateful to all those who gave me such wonderful reviews. Thank you so much!

_Finding the True Heart_

By Amberle-chan

Chapter 13: Life's Explanations

Sprawled in a chair besides Aoshi's bed, I awoke to dappled morning sunlight filtering through the hospital room window. Despite Dr. Takani's assurances that Aoshi was in not in any danger, I had refused to leave his side and had fallen asleep. I stood up and stretched my limbs and then bent over to check Aoshi. He was still deeply asleep. I sat down again and watched his deep and even breathing as I pondered the events of the night before.

Within minutes of Okubo's arrival of the dojo, he had the situation well in hand. Saitou was arrested by Okubo's bodyguards, and two ambulances were dispatched to take both Kenshin and Aoshi to the hospital. Kenshin was now in a room across the hall from where I sat, but I had not gone to visit him. There was too much we needed to say to each other, and I didn't even know where to begin. Besides which, I did not want to leave Aoshi until he woke up.

Another hour passed as I waited for Aoshi to awake. I was beginning to get hungry and was thinking of running to the hospital cafeteria for a quick breakfast, when there was a knock on the door.

"Come."

The door opened and Sanosuke entered carrying two trays of food. "I had a feeling you were still here," he commented. "Figured you might be hungry."

I stood up, took the trays from him, and placed them on the table. "Thank you," I said. "How's Kenshin?"

"Well, the wound in his side was pretty deep, but no vital organs were touched, so he'll be just fine," Sanosuke replied. "You haven't been to see him."

"I'm not ready to yet."

"He's been asking for you."

"Aoshi needs me."

"So does Kenshin." He leaned back against the wall, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his hospital coat, his eyes closed. "Look, Kaoru, I know he's hurt you deeply. But he never wanted you to know. I should never have told you where he was. All of this is my fault."

I looked up at him in surprise. "You're kidding, right?" I chuckled ironically. "None of this is your fault. I'm a journalist, Sano. Do you think for one minute that if I hadn't forced to you to tell me where Kenshin was, that I wouldn't have found out anyway?" I reached out and patted him on the arm. "It's not your fault. If it's anyone fault, it's mine for not listening to you in the first place."

"You're wrong, Miss Kamiya," a voice said from the doorway. "The blame for this entire situation is mine."

"Mr. Okubo!"

He stepped further into the room and closed the door behind him. Before he did, however, I spotted the two bodyguards standing to either side of the doorway. He looked exhausted, as if he had not gotten any sleep at all the night before. When he raised his eyes back up to mine, I could see that they were haunted and full of pain. I did not say anything further.

"I let things go too far," he said. "Kenshin came to me more than a year ago and begged me to let him stop, but I wouldn't let him because the work was not done."

I could not help but notice that Okubo called Kenshin by his name, not "Battousai." Was that significant in some way?

Sanosuke straighened up from his slump and took his hands from out of his pockets. "Perhaps I should leave…," he muttered.

"No," Okubo replied. "I know who you are, Doctor. You also have a right to know what happened. Why I let your brother become the Battousai."

Sanosuke did not answer but leaned back against the wall once more as he stared at Okubo, his eyes demanding answers from the politician. It was then that I realized that even if Sano had known that Kenshin was the Battousai, he hadn't known the reasons why. Just like me, he didn't understand why or how his brother had become a killer.

Okubo looked toward me. "You should sit down, Miss Kamiya. This is a long story."

I stared at him silently for a moment before I complied. Okubo took one more step into the room, as he stared off into space for several seconds, as if he needed to gather his thoughts together.

"It started several years ago," he began. "When I first became Minister of the Interior. I could not help but notice how corrupt the government was becoming, how the officials were petty, thieving, conniving men who would sell their own souls for just a little more taste of power. It was then that I discovered that I had my own power, that I could cleanse the corruption, as I chose."

"But men will always be petty and corrupt, nothing you do will ever change that," Aoshi's slightly raspy voice suddenly spoke up from my side.

I rose in an instant and helped him to sit up in the bed. "Aoshi?" I asked him, worriedly.

He reached out and gently brushed a hand against my face. "I'm alright, Kaoru," he assured me. I smiled at him as I reached for the water pitcher on the table, filled the plastic cup, and handed it to him. Aoshi drank for a moment before he spoke again, his piercing blue eyes landing directly on Okubo. "You should continue, Mr. Okubo," he said. "I am most interested in what you have to say."

Okubo stared at Aoshi for several moments before he spoke again. "You are right, of course, Mr. Shinomori. Men will always be petty and corrupt. But I believed that I could cut that corruption out of the government's heart and replace the corrupt officials with more honest ones." He paused for several moments, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side. "In doing what I did, in letting Saitou and Kenshin keep the blood away from my hands, I believed that I was doing good."

He stopped speaking again, his head falling forward as his shoulders slumped steeply. He remained still for several moments. I looked around the room; we were all waiting for him to speak again. Sanosuke had risen from his own slump against the wall and was staring at Okubo with hardened eyes.

I sat down on the bed by Aoshi's side, my eyes riveted to Okubo's face. I wasn't sure what I was feeling—horror or shock, perhaps both. I had a feeling that I knew what he would say next, the explanation of how Kenshin became involved in all of this, some of which Saitou had told me the night before. I wanted to hear it from Okubo's lips, the true instigator of it all.

When Okubo finally spoke again, his voice emerged from his throat in a broken rasp. "Last night….last night, I finally took a deep look into myself, after years of rationalizing that what I was doing was for the greater good. Last night, I realized I was wrong, that I was even more corrupt than those I had killed."

"We are not your confessors," Sanosuke snarled out, his fist clenching. "I want to know how you let this happen to my brother."

Okubo raised his head, gazed steadily at each one of us, and nodded.

"Nearly seven years ago, Saitou told me that he had found a very talented young man training in a dojo in Europe. He told me that this young man was idealistic, but pliable, and with the right training, he could be convinced to support our cause. I instructed Saitou to train him thoroughly. I used this young man to remove the corruption, slip back into the shadows, and no one would know who he was. It was Kenshin. I had my own plans set in place that would keep each incident quiet and out of the public eye. The only thing anyone would know was that a government official had died."

"The 'corruption' you speak so blithely of, Mr. Okubo, were human beings," I said, not attempting to hide the disdain I felt. "They may have been wrong in what they did, but they certainly didn't deserve to die. Some of them had families, some with very young children."

"Yes, I know. I made sure they were well taken care of," he replied.

"Money doesn't replace their loved ones," I declared heatedly.

I half expected Okubo lower his head again in shame, because he had admitted that what he had done was wrong, but he did not. In that moment, I hated him. I hated what he had done, his callousness toward human life just so he could rid the world of what he disliked. Most of all, I hated what he had done to Kenshin, turning the man I had once loved into a killer to keep his own hands clean of blood.

Aoshi must have felt the increase of tension in my body; his hand slipped into mine and squeezed gently. I relaxed slightly and waited for Okubo to continue. He cleared his throat once before he did so, his eyes always level with mine.

"There was a schedule I set up. Each incident was carefully timed so that no one would become suspicious. Then about a year ago, Saitou decided, on his own, to ignore the schedule and sped things up. It was probably then that your contact, whoever they are, started to get suspicious and began to collect information. It was also around the same time that Kenshin came to me and asked that I allow him to stop the killing. He begged and pleaded with me, telling me that he couldn't stand the blood any more. I did not listen to him, and I let it continue. I told him that the work had to be completed."

"So here we are today," Aoshi said quietly. There was no inflection in his voice, nothing to give away the contempt I'm sure he must have felt for the man standing before us. "Tell me truthfully, Mr. Okubo. If Kaoru and I had not discovered what were you doing, would the killing have stopped? Or would it have gone on until every last government official was dead?"

I could see Aoshi's piercing blue eyes challenging him to answer. Okubo flinched and looked away. "Perhaps," he said, his voice a mere whisper.

Tears slipped from my eyes. Okubo's explanation had finally become too much for me to hear. "You're a monster, Mr. Okubo," I cried out. "There's no other word for you. How dare you use people that way? Do you have any idea of who and what Kenshin was before you twisted his soul for your benefit? Do you?"

Okubo shook his head, his eyes telling me that he had never known Kenshin as anything but a tool that he had used to spill countless pints of blood. He had never known the Kenshin that I had known, had never heard the music that had once poured out of Kenshin's hands and soul.

"You poor soul-less bastard," I said in a low, rough voice. "Get out of my sight."

"I suggest that you do as Kaoru says," Aoshi said icily as I felt his arms embracing me, pressing my tear-stained face against his chest. "Do not bother to ask for forgiveness as you leave. Those words are useless here."

A moment later I heard footsteps and the sound of the door closing. I began to cry; Aoshi tightened his arms around me.

"I'll go check on Kenshin," Sanosuke said.

Once more I heard footsteps and the door opening and closing again. I wrapped my arms around Aoshi's waist and cried, mourning for all that I had once had and lost, but most of all, I cried for Kenshin, who had lost his musician's soul. After all that he had done, how could he ever find the beauty he had once possessed ever again?

* * *

Three days later, I was helping Aoshi pack up his things as he prepared to leave the hospital, when Sanosuke came into the room. He closed the door behind him and then leaned against it. "Kenshin will be released tomorrow," he told us.

I looked at him, from where I was bent over the suitcase lying on the bed, and said nothing. I knew what Sanosuke wanted. I still had not gone to visit Kenshin, still had not talked to him.

Aoshi placed his hand over mine, squeezing my fingers gently. "Go talk to him, Kaoru."

"Aoshi?" I breathed, as I gazed up at him. His eyes were so blue and intense as they stared down at me.

He let go of my hand and caressed my cheek. "I'll be waiting for you."

I gave him a grateful smile and turned to go. Sanosuke opened the door for me. "He's in the patient lounge," he informed me.

* * *

Just as Sano told me, I found Kenshin in the patients' lounge. He was alone, and standing by an old battered, upright piano, staring down at the keys, a pensive expression on his face.

"When was the last time you played, Kenshin?" I asked quietly from where I stood in the doorway.

He turned when he heard my voice; he tried to smile but was unsuccessful. In that moment, he looked completely lost, as if there was nothing left of himself. "I don't really remember," he replied.

I walked over to him, took one of his hands in my own, and gently placed his fingers on the piano keys. "Your hands were never meant to be around a sword, Kenshin. They always belonged here."

He lifted his eyes to mine, and I could see the deep sadness and bitterness he was feeling. "I wish I could explain to you, Kaoru, how it happened. How I lost myself in the blood. Why I turned from a creator of beauty to a messenger of death." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. "Thinking about it all now, I'm not sure how it happened." After a moment's silence, his head rolled forward and his eyes landed on his fingers; they clenched into fists. "I guess it wouldn't matter anyway. Nothing can absolve me from what I've done."

I reached out and grabbed his hands, uncurling his fingers. I placed one hand on his scarred cheek; he opened his eyes, staring into mine. "Find the music in your heart again, Kenshin," I said quietly. "That is your true heart."

He reached out and brushed some hair away from my face. "Will you stay with me, Kaoru?" he pleaded. "You could…heal me."

A tear slipped from my eye as I gazed at him and shook my head. "No, Kenshin," I murmured, caressing his cheek again with my palm. "The time we had together is past."

He turned his face away. "You love Shinomori."

"Yes," I answered as I turned his eyes back to mine, "but never forget that you will always have a piece of my heart, Kenshin Himura." I bent his face toward mine and kissed him tenderly. "Goodbye, Kenshin."

He stared back at me as my hand fell away from his face. "I'll always love you, Kaoru," he whispered.

I smiled at him through my tears and walked back across the room. As I opened the door, I turned back again; Kenshin's hands were hovering over the piano keys. I closed the door behind me as he began to play.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer**: RK belongs to Watsuki-san. I'm just borrowing for my little fantasy.

**Author's Note**: Unlike the rest of the story, this epilogue is not told from Kaoru's point of view. This breaks the rules, but sometimes rules are meant to be broken (or at least bent a little).

_Finding the True Heart_

By Amberle-chan

_Epilogue_: Life's Music

As I approached the doorway, I could hear that someone was playing the piano beautifully on the other side. I wondered briefly if this was my master's newest student, the one I had not met yet.

I knocked on the door tentatively. The master did not like anyone disturbing his lessons, but I did not want to linger out in the hallway, either.

"Come," the master's voice said.

I entered the room, and he turned toward me as I closed the door. "You're early," he said gruffly. "Go take a seat while I teach this idiot the correct way to play a piano."

The man he was referring to did not turn around but kept on playing, but I couldn't help smiling as I saw his shoulders shrug and heard a distinctive sigh. I did not recognize him, so this had to be the new student. He had to be very talented. The master only insulted his best students; the better you were, the worse the insults became. I had gotten more than quite a few insults myself. It took me awhile to figure out what the master was doing. I think he did it to help keep us humble.

I took a seat in one corner, closing my eyes as I listened, letting the music flow over and through me. The man at the piano was indeed very gifted, the best I had heard in a long time. His playing matched the master's, perhaps even surpassed it. I would never be as good as this, but I also recognized a prodigy when one was sitting at a keyboard.

Every note seemed flawless. I opened my eyes and stared at him. Why was he a student and not teaching others himself? Or performing in a concert hall? Someone who played like this should not be taking lessons in a studio apartment of a five-floor walk-up. Whoever he was, he should have been studying in the finest music school in the world.

"No, no, no!" the master's growled loudly, breaking my reverie, "That's the second time you've done that, you moron! The chord is a D major, not minor. Play it again!"

The man sighed heavily once more but obeyed. I listened attentively; once again his performance was perfect. It was perfect, that is, until the master stopped him again.

"Why do you keep playing that damn chord?" the master demanded. "How many times do I have to tell you that you're wrong before you get it right?"

"Hiko-san?" I spoke up quietly.

"Yes, what is it?" he snarled as he turned to me.

"He's playing the right chord. It is a D minor," I said. "I know it is. It's on the chart."

Hiko-san glared at me but then stomped across the room to rifle through the music books on the bookshelves, while grumbling under his breath about idiot, moronic students who thought they knew better than he did.

The young man finally turned around and smiled at me, and I gasped. I had never seen anyone with such features before. His hair was the color of a fiery sunset, and his eyes were deepest amethyst I had ever seen. His cheek was marred by a cross-shaped scar.

"Thank you," he said. "I've been trying to tell him that for the last half hour. Is he always like this?"

"Yes," I replied back with a smile of my own, "but don't let it worry you. He's may be a big, arrogant grouch, but inside he's just a big softy."

"I heard that!" Hiko bellowed from where he was bent over the music stacks.

The man chuckled and extended his hand to me. "I'm Kenshin Himura," he introduced himself.

"I'm Tomoe Yukishiro."

_The End_

**One Last Author's Note**: So that's it, folks. It's finally finished. I hope you enjoyed it. I would like to thank all of you who gave me such great reviews!

I may actually re-write this story one day, and if I do so, it will be in third person and not the first. I began writing this story in the first person, but it wasn't long before I discovered how difficult this was to do, especially because I could only present one person's point of view. This is one of the reasons there was such a long time between updates.

I am very grateful to Eriesalia for being my beta reader. **_Thanks, S, you are the best!_**


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